Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the itadvantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

It is recommended for
students
to work in their gap year before joining the university. I will be discussing
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
and disadvantages in
this
essay. There are enormous advantages to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
money before
persuing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
higher studies.
Firstly
,
students
gain work experience and early exposure to
professional
Add an article
a professional
the professional
show examples
environment,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
enables them to be better prepared for future career
endavours
Correct your spelling
endeavours
.
Secondly
, several corporate
jobs
allows them to expand professional connections in the market and helps them to
aquire
Correct your spelling
acquire
diverse
Correct article usage
a diverse
show examples
set of social, life and technical skills
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for better employment.
Finally
,
students
having prior work experience
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
to have
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
edge in successfully cracking job interviews compared to other candidates.
For instance
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
has a mandatory
three hour
Add a hyphen
three-hour
show examples
credit course specifically for internship programs,
due to
which
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
graduates are highly likely to secure a
well paying
Add a hyphen
well-paying
show examples
job. The breaks extending to several years can be somewhat exhausting and many
students
may get into
jobs
which they are not
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in.
According to
a survey, many aspiring software engineers failed to secure
jobs
related to software development which ultimately halted their passion for attaining a
bachelors
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degree.
Moreover
, it
also
distrubs
Correct your spelling
disturbs
their educational goals. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passes their
eagereness
Correct your spelling
eagerness
and willpower to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
professional certification starts to fade and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
they ruin their life by working
low wage
Add a hyphen
low-wage
show examples
jobs
due to
which they get into depression and anxiety. in conclusion, taking
job
Add an article
the job
a job
show examples
is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
positive approach towards personal and professional development.
However
, long gap years
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
student
Add an article
the student
show examples
less motivated to continue their studies.
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task achievement
Your essay should present more rounded arguments for both advantages and disadvantages. Make sure to thoroughly discuss each point you introduce, leaving no gaps in reasoning.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples rather than generalized statements. This helps in making your argument more convincing and relates better to real-world scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraph transitions are smooth. Use linking words and phrases to guide your reader through your thoughts seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Correct grammatical mistakes and typos that may distract the reader from the main points you are making. Review your writing for common spelling errors such as 'persuing' (pursuing), 'neccessary' (necessary), and 'intrested' (interested).
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall flow by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence and develops a single idea thoroughly before moving on to the next point.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
The example you provide about Harvard University's internship programs adds weight to your argument and offers a tangible illustration of your point.
task achievement
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows that you've considered multiple perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year: A year taken off between school and university to work or travel.
  • real-world skills: Practical abilities gained through actual experience rather than academic study.
  • financial burdens: The financial pressures or difficulties one might face.
  • career goals: Objectives or aspirations related to one's professional path.
  • strengths and weaknesses: Positive and negative attributes or abilities.
  • maturity: The state of being fully developed in one's personality or emotional capabilities.
  • responsibility: The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or oversee someone.
  • communication skills: The ability to convey or share ideas and feelings effectively.
  • time management: The ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • organizational skills: The ability to plan and arrange activities or tasks systematically.
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