In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

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In modern

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

It seems that community may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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community

Add a comma

community,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In modern community. Consider adding a comma.

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I observe

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of communication between neighbors

due to

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

different

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

It seems that reason may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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Firstly

Linking Words

, busy life

in other words

Linking Words

people

busy

Add a missing verb

are busy

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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about

Change preposition

with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to meet their needs and to provide a good life for their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

It seems that family may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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Secondly

Linking Words

, differences between community layers

one

Add a missing verb

are one

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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of the most

Correct word choice

common issue

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issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

It seems that issue may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that promote from absence of communication between communities.

Finally

Linking Words

, it is necessary to increase the awareness among people to promote social communication by media or school.

a.junini7Sun Jun 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Consider organizing it with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will help guide the reader through your arguments in a logical manner.

task achievement

There is a need for more detailed explanations and examples to support the points you make. Try providing specific examples and elaborating on how they relate to the causes and solutions for the problem.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are unclear and difficult to follow. Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability. Reading your essay aloud can help identify areas that may be confusing or awkward.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and attempts to identify causes and solutions.

task achievement

You have highlighted busy life and social differences as key issues, which are relevant points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

74 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Population movement
Diverse communities
Busy lifestyles
Long working hours
Digital communities
Personal security concerns
Architectural designs
City planning
Natural meet and interact

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In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In most countries, people are allowed to start driving at the age of 18. Some say that the legal driving age should be increased to 21. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Some people say that schools should invest money in the best equipment for their students. Others say it is better to invest money in hiring good teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that arts such as painting and music do not improve people’s lives and therefore government should not spend money on them. Instead the government should spend money on science and technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree.