In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

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In modern

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

community

Add a comma

community,

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I observe

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of communication between neighbors

due to

Linking Words

different

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

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Firstly

Linking Words

, busy life

in other words

Linking Words

people

busy

Add a missing verb

are busy

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about

Change preposition

with

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their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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to meet their needs and to provide a good life for their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

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Secondly

Linking Words

, differences between community layers

one

Add a missing verb

are one

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of the most

Correct word choice

common issue

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issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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that promote from absence of communication between communities.

Finally

Linking Words

, it is necessary to increase the awareness among people to promote social communication by media or school.

a.junini7Sun Jun 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Consider organizing it with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will help guide the reader through your arguments in a logical manner.

task achievement

There is a need for more detailed explanations and examples to support the points you make. Try providing specific examples and elaborating on how they relate to the causes and solutions for the problem.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are unclear and difficult to follow. Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability. Reading your essay aloud can help identify areas that may be confusing or awkward.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and attempts to identify causes and solutions.

task achievement

You have highlighted busy life and social differences as key issues, which are relevant points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

74 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Population movement
Diverse communities
Busy lifestyles
Long working hours
Digital communities
Personal security concerns
Architectural designs
City planning
Natural meet and interact

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In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You came to know about a piece of equipment that would help you at your workplace. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter – describe the equipment – explain how it might be useful at your workplace – offer help in purchasing it

In some countries there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?