In some countries young people are encourages to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Few countries have the privilege of taking breaks during
studies
. Many cultures encourage young adults to go to work
before completing higher education
and beginning university studies
. I strongly believe that teenagers
should be very disciplined in their education
system till they complete university studies
otherwise
the greatest drawback is that they will be distracted and end up discontinuing education
.
When teenagers
start earning before finishing their education
, they don’t understand what is right for them. For instance
, a youngster working in a supermarket as a billing person, realised many people are fond of cigarettes. also
ended up trying that and became addicted to it and distracted in studies
. They will easily be attracted by the habits of others. Most people choose to Correct pronoun usage
my studies
work
in stores or as delivery boys where they get sufficient allowances as they work
overtime.
Many teenagers
go to jobs because of family situations. Those people never deviated from their goal every day and one in 1000 we can find such
a person. for example
, although
taking a break from education
still they do activities such
as listening to a daily class online or with friends after work
. Helping friends to do their homework thereby them understand the concept. Very much engaged in getting updates from school.
To sum up
, Teenagers
drop their education
and do jobs for family or personal reasons. Area of work
and adult's goals play important roles. Although
lots of disadvantages to doing the job while
pursuing education
some situation forcefully makes them do that.Submitted by kiruthikakannan.pid on
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task achievement
Try to present both advantages and disadvantages clearly and with balance. While you discussed the potential disadvantages of taking a break before university, the advantages are not as thoroughly discussed.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. For example, 'also ended up trying that and became addicted to it and distracted in studies' should be 'also ended up trying that, became addicted to it, and got distracted from studies.'
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay better, ensuring each paragraph discusses a single main point. Ensure the examples are closely tied to your argument and elaborate on how they support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on clarity and precision in your arguments. For instance, in your second paragraph, the connection between teenagers working in supermarkets and becoming addicted to cigarettes needs clearer explanation.
task achievement
The introduction introduces the topic and your stance clearly, setting the stage for your arguments.
task achievement
You provide relevant specific examples to illustrate your points, which adds depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, and you make an effort to supported your points with examples.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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