Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

individuals

Use synonyms

think that

hobbies

Use synonyms

are supposed to be hard to make

people

Use synonyms

feel satisfied with them. From my perspective,

although

Linking Words

some

hobbies

Use synonyms

are enjoyable because they are difficult, I do not consider

difficult

Replace the word

difficulty

show examples

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

the indispensable factor rendering

hobbies

Use synonyms

interesting. Admittedly, the main

reasons

Fix the agreement mistake

reason

show examples

why some

people

Use synonyms

insist that

hobbies

Use synonyms

satisfy

peopel

Correct your spelling

people

only when it is difficult is because

that difficult

Change the determiner

that difficult hobby

those difficult hobbies

show examples

hobbies

Use synonyms

may bring

individuals

Use synonyms

a sense of

achievement

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

making

people

Use synonyms

could

Verb problem

apply

show examples

dive

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

into it. Specifically, some difficult

hobbies

Use synonyms

require

individuals

Use synonyms

have

Fix the infinitive

to have

show examples

many skills, which means

people

Use synonyms

should put more

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

their

hobbies

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, if they

finally

Linking Words

overcome the difficulties in their

hobbies

Use synonyms

, they will gain

Correct article usage

the

show examples

satisfaction of

achievement

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, swimming contains many hard styles, signifying

people

Use synonyms

need to spend

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

time and

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to become proficient in it. If they handle all these troubles ultimately, they can show it in front of their friends,

thus

Linking Words

gaining a sense of

achievement

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I do not reckon that

hobbies

Use synonyms

ought to be difficult to be satisfied.

Firstly

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

immersed

Add a missing verb

are immersed

show examples

in some

hobbies

Use synonyms

because they are relaxing, even if they do not contain any difficult things.

For example

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

choose running as their hobby because it can relieve their pressure, generating dopamine. In that case,

people

Use synonyms

obtain happiness in running without challenging themselves.

Secondly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

find difficult-free

hobbies

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

enjoyable

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

they are meaningful, which means

individuals

Use synonyms

do not care whether it is difficult or not.

For instance

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

choose planting as their daily hobby because they can plant more trees to alleviate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

global warming,

thus

Linking Words

protecting the environment.

Therefore

Linking Words

individuals

Use synonyms

find planting

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fun without considering whether it is difficult or not. In conclusion, difficult

hobbies

Use synonyms

may make

people

Use synonyms

feel satisfied because it gives

people

Use synonyms

a feeling of

achievement

Use synonyms

but easy

hobbies

Use synonyms

can be enjoyable as they are relaxing and meaningful.

1356388645Sun Jun 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Mechanics

Ensure all grammatical errors and typos are corrected to avoid distractions for the reader. For example, change "peopel" to "people," and "many time and efforts" to "a lot of time and effort."

Coherence and Cohesion

Add transitional phrases in some parts of the essay to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Provide a more substantial introduction to clearly state your position and outline the main points you will cover. This will help the reader follow your arguments more effectively.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the topic by presenting both sides of the argument regarding whether hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable.

Task Achievement

Relevant examples, such as swimming and running, are provided to support the main points, which strengthens the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and reiterates the author's viewpoint, ensuring the essay feels complete.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument, thereby maintaining logical structure.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

unique challenge
personal growth
mastery
accomplishment
demanding
thrill of achievement
pastimes
fostering
sense of community
mindfulness
stress relief
mental break
daily stressors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is often tought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this issue?
In contemporary society, juvenile delinquency has consistently been a topic of interest among the masses. While there are compelling arguments in favour of those more and more violent elements in media increase the crime rate among teenagers, there are also significant reasons to approach it with scepticism. Despite its contentious nature, I am inclined to oppose the viewpoint, as I believe the main reason should be the workaholic parents. Also, this essay will discuss some solutions to the problem.
7
band
Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?
Deforestation caused by human activities is happening in many regions all over the world, with serious results for the environment. Personally, I believe that this problem can be solved in some ways which I shall explain in more detail in this essay.
7.5
band
Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The unemployment level is on the rise, particularly in countries where the majority are living on less than $ 1 a day. Restricting access to only primary education might seem advantageous in these countries as it will encourage the locals to focus on learning a trade; where jobs are more abundant. On the other hand, I believe giving pupils access to a higher level of education gives them a competitive advantage to find more lucrative jobs in their home town and it also opens opportunities for them internationally.
6.5
band
Digital communication technology such as e-mail, instant messaging and social media has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reason for your answers and include examples nd from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s interconnected world, digital communication technologies like email, instant messaging, and social media have revolutionized how people communicate. I strongly agree that these innovations have significantly enhanced communication and connections between individuals, offering unprecedented convenience and access to global networks. However, there are also some drawbacks related to the quality of communication and the potential for superficial connections.
8
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What coulbe be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Lately, a lot of people prefer to work for their own company, instead of being employed by someone else. This essay discusses the reasons why this might be happening and the drawbacks of this phenomenon.

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often tought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this issue?

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the enviroment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Digital communication technology such as e-mail, instant messaging and social media has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reason for your answers and include examples nd from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What coulbe be the disadvantages of being self-employed?