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Band 3.5

In some countries,more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing excercise cleasses. what are the reasons for it? Is this a positive trend?

#countries #people #fitness #trainers #sports #excercise #cleasses #trend
There is no doubt that these days
fittness
Correct your spelling
fitness
 and
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercise
becom
Correct your spelling
become
 an important
rotine
Correct your spelling
routine
 in
people
's life. In certain
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the world, the number of individuals who prefer to
hiring
Wrong verb form
hire
show examples
 personal
fitness
 trainers is increasing, rather than attending
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 lessons or playing sports. There are several reasons why more and more
people
 are hiring personal
fitness
 trainers.
First,
many
people
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
fitness
 and sports,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
 of that they need
assistances
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
show examples
 from a
profissional
Correct your spelling
professional
 trainer.
In other words
, beginners
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
,usually need someone, who
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
show examples
 suitable types of
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
 for each person.
Also
, watch how the
excerciser
Correct your spelling
exerciser
exercise
 moves and make sure he is moving the right way that could prevent
potantial
Correct your spelling
potential
 injuries from happening. One clear example is
knee
Add an article
a knee
show examples
 injury, which is the most common harm often
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 to
athecs
Correct your spelling
athletes
 because of one wrong move when
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercising
 in a wrong way.
Second,
expert
Correct article usage
an expert
show examples
 personal trainee puts a customed
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
 for each case.
For instance
,
lift
Replace the word
lifting
show examples
 weight has different techniques and
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
 than running.
Therefore
, a lot of
people
asking
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
 for personal training sessions to get a positive result from their
workouts
Change the noun form
workout
show examples
 classes.
An
Correct article usage
The
show examples
excisting
Correct your spelling
existence
 of a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 assistant means more
decipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
 in
workingout
Correct your spelling
working out
 daily. In conclusion, There are many benefits of hiring a personal
fitness
 trainer.
Submitted by hguwfhkd on

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Grammar
Ensure consistent use of singular and plural forms (e.g., 'fitness and exercises have become' instead of 'fitness and exercises becom').
Spelling
Improve spelling accuracy (e.g., 'routine' instead of 'rotine'; 'schedule' instead of 'schedual').
Sentence Structure
Try to use a greater variety of sentence structures to enhance the writing's fluency.
Conclusion
Expand on the conclusion to summarize the key points discussed in the essay more clearly.
Content
The essay clearly identifies and explains the reasons why people hire personal fitness trainers rather than attending exercise classes or playing sports.
Structure
There is a logical flow of ideas from introduction to conclusion, which helps the reader follow the argument more easily.
Examples
The use of specific examples, such as the knee injury scenario, helps to illustrate the main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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