Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negetive development for the children?

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Recently,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are likely to give more and more
requiries
Correct your spelling
requires

If you don’t want requiries to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to their
childen
Correct your spelling
children

If you don’t want childen to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on
eduacation
Correct your spelling
education

If you don’t want eduacation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. There are many
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons

The singular countable noun reason follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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for
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. In my opinion, giving too
much
Change the quantifier
many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun responsibilities. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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responsibilities
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has both positive and negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects

The word affects doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. On the one hand, I believe that it is essential to motivate and supervise the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in studying. Especially,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to pay more attention
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
teenager
Replace the word
teenage

The word teenager doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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kids.
In
Change preposition
At

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

age, they tend to neglect their study and spend more time
for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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friends gathering, social media, own
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies

It seems that hobby may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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...
Whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period is important to prepare for
instensive
Correct your spelling
intensive

If you don’t want instensive to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

study to university options.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

often ask their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about how their day in school is, what grade they
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtained

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb obtain. Consider changing it.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

week, what subject they do best, day by day the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be
influented
Correct your spelling
influenced

If you don’t want influented to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the mind that their main duty at time is studying, not the other activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to overcontrol their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's studying schedule, focus on a range of extra classes,
even
Correct word choice
and even

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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not allow
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to do some
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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activities.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point may cause negative sides.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

always compare
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

child's study ability with the others, it makes the child doubt
hisself
Correct your spelling
himself

If you don’t want hisself to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
Correct word choice
and inconfident

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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inconfident
Correct your spelling
confident
in confident

If you don’t want inconfident to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in his class. The worst thing, he is able to lose hope in studying. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be
balance
Wrong verb form
balanced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb balance. Consider changing it.

show examples
between setting the pressure on the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and inspiring them to enjoy their own studying.

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General
Your ideas are generally clear, but make sure to proofread for minor errors. Words like 'requirements' should be correctly spelled to maintain clarity. For instance, 'requiries' should be 'requirements' and 'eduacation' should be 'education'.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. It would improve your essay's persuasiveness and relevance. Avoid overgeneralizing and make sure examples are directly tied to your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, strive for more polished and connected paragraphs. Transitions like 'However,' 'Therefore,' and similar connectors could enhance readability and flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a good framework for your discussion. It's clear what you're going to talk about, and you sum it up nicely at the end.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task quite well by explaining both reasons for parental pressure and its positive and negative effects. This shows that you thoroughly understood the prompt.
Task Achievement
You provided examples and real-life scenarios which help illustrate your points. This makes your essay more relatable and grounded.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • expectations
  • competition
  • secure future
  • societal norms
  • academic spheres
  • professional spheres
  • anxious
  • success
  • perceived social status
  • exerting pressure
  • opportunities
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