Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succed. what is the reason for parents doing this? is this a positive or negetive development for the children?
Recently,
parents
are likely to give more and more requiries
to their Correct your spelling
requires
childen
on Correct your spelling
children
eduacation
. There are many Correct your spelling
education
reason
for Change to a plural noun
reasons
parents
doing this
. In my opinion, giving too much
responsibilities Change the quantifier
many
on
Change preposition
to
children
has both positive and negative affects
.
On the one hand, I believe that it is essential to motivate and supervise the Correct your spelling
effects
children
in studying. Especially, parents
need to pay more attention on
their Change preposition
to
teenager
kids. Replace the word
teenage
In
Change preposition
At
this
age, they tend to neglect their study and spend more time for
friends gathering, social media, own Change preposition
on
hobby
...Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
Whereas
, this
period is important to prepare for instensive
study to university options. Correct your spelling
intensive
For example
, if parents
often ask their children
about how their day in school is, what grade they obtain
Wrong verb form
obtained
this
week, what subject they do best, day by day the children
will be influented
in the mind that their main duty at time is studying, not the other activities.
Correct your spelling
influenced
On the other hand
, some parents
tend to overcontrol their children
's studying schedule, focus on a range of extra classes, even
not allow Correct word choice
and even
children
to do some sport
activities. Change the noun form
sports
This
point may cause negative sides. For instance
, if parents
always compare this
child's study ability with the others, it makes the child doubt hisself
, Correct your spelling
himself
Correct word choice
and inconfident
inconfident
in his class. The worst thing, he is able to lose hope in studying.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
confident
in confident
parents
should be balance
between setting the pressure on the Wrong verb form
balanced
children
and inspiring them to enjoy their own studying.Submitted by minhchau8487 on
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General
Your ideas are generally clear, but make sure to proofread for minor errors. Words like 'requirements' should be correctly spelled to maintain clarity. For instance, 'requiries' should be 'requirements' and 'eduacation' should be 'education'.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. It would improve your essay's persuasiveness and relevance. Avoid overgeneralizing and make sure examples are directly tied to your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
While you have an introduction and a conclusion, strive for more polished and connected paragraphs. Transitions like 'However,' 'Therefore,' and similar connectors could enhance readability and flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a good framework for your discussion. It's clear what you're going to talk about, and you sum it up nicely at the end.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task quite well by explaining both reasons for parental pressure and its positive and negative effects. This shows that you thoroughly understood the prompt.
Task Achievement
You provided examples and real-life scenarios which help illustrate your points. This makes your essay more relatable and grounded.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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