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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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It is true that skilled employees are paid more salary and attention than already graduated
people
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 by employers of
companies
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 and offices in most parts of the world.In
this
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 essay, I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 issue. Nowadays most of the workplaces are handled by senior staff
due to
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 the benefits of their experience for the commercial goals of workplaces.
firstly
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, workers
work
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 many years in a place
knows
Correct pronoun usage
that knows
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 important things about customers and can sell more items to them without their aim to buy those unnecessary items.
Secondly
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, they can be more creative in hard situations to prevent their workplace from going bankrupt or losing shares and clients.
Finally
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, working in real is different from studying the equipment, devices and atmosphere of a factory or office.
For example
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, when I started my
work
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 as a nurse with a master's degree I was taught how to
work
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 with the EKG device by my colleagues who had more experience and fewer university degrees than me.These motivated most
companies
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 to seek more skilled
people
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 rather than graduated ones.
Nevertheless
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,there are some advantages to having staff with more
knowledge
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 for various reasons and not having these
people
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 in the workplace can keep
companies
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 from growing
along with
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 other rivals.
Although
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 bosses think they are making more money and profit at the current time, they can't ignore the effects of new methods and ways of staying in developing highway that requires employee knowledgeable workers to know how to operate cutting-edge devices and machines and
also
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 new methods related
with
Change preposition
to
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 their job.By way of an example, my updated
knowledge
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 provides my hospital with getting
Correct article usage
a scoreof
show examples
scoreof
Correct your spelling
score of
score
 Aplus in the national assessment of hospitals because of prepared the staff to answer the investigator's questions thanks to my
managing
Replace the word
management
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.I believe that the reason for giving more value and attention to skill rather than
knowledge
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 is to become unstudied
people
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 as a manager. In conclusion,
while
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 experienced
people
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 can make a profit in the workplace and have huge benefits, I do believe that in the long term,
knowledge
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 can play a more effective role in most offices,
companies
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, factories and everywhere associated with
work
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.
Therefore
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 I think the disadvantages of giving more concern to experience rather than degree do outweigh the advantages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical. This will improve the logical structure of your essay and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with more detailed examples and evidence to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas.
task achievement
Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure that you support your assertions with credible evidence or specific examples. This will make your essay more persuasive and logical.
task achievement
The essay includes both advantages and disadvantages of valuing experience over knowledge in the workplace, addressing the prompt comprehensively.
task achievement
The use of personal examples adds a personal touch and makes the argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which helps frame the essay and provides a summary of your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • workplace
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentor
  • colleagues
  • innovation
  • stagnation
  • traditional methods
  • recent graduates
  • theoretical knowledge
  • diversity
  • viewpoints
  • proven ability
  • stability
  • industries
  • technology
  • adaptation
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