A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages arid disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?
A significant number of individuals
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
tourism
in the modern world
. I am in complete agreement with this
viewpoint because of the facts
that a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
fact
people
in the world
rely on tourism
as a main source of income and people
are trading multiple among in the world
.
The most fundamental reason why many consider such
view
is that trading will be multiplied Correct article usage
a view
among
in the Change preposition
apply
world
. Products produced in the country are sent to another country. For example
, gas and liqueds
Correct your spelling
liquids
liquid
prodeced
Correct your spelling
produced
are pass
to Change the verb form
are passed
are passing
another countries
. Another Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
positives
aspect is thought to be that the Change the noun form
positive
world
will be traveling
around Change the spelling
travelling
country
. Add an article
the country
This
is because For trading you will be go
Change the verb form
be gone
multiple
Change preposition
to multiple
town
and cities Fix the agreement mistake
towns
furhtermore
, you will be relationship Correct your spelling
furthermore
diffirent
with Correct your spelling
different
people
.
The second worth mentioning reason supporting this
point is that,
in the Remove the comma
apply
world
have got
Verb problem
apply
diffrient
Correct your spelling
different
people
and furthermore
, you will be speaking for with
Change preposition
apply
people
. Of tourism
in the world
for develop must learn language
. Add an article
the language
a language
For instance
, you will be go
to England and you are speaking Change the verb form
be going
uzbek
. Change the capitalization
Uzbek
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
your
are not understanding nobody. Correct pronoun usage
you
Of
Change preposition
For
tourism
is main language English
.
In stark contrast, Add a missing verb
is English
however
, it would also
be fair to admit that you will be rich
person Add an article
a rich
while
your
will Change the pronoun
you
be eradicate
money. Change the verb form
be eradicated
Nonetheless
, I would still consider tourism
in the modern world
to be more advantageous.
In conclusion, I would like to, once again, reiterate my view that tourism
in the modern world
remins
exceedingly beneficial Correct your spelling
remains
reminds
due to
the facts
that a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
fact
adolescent
in the Change to a plural noun
adolescents
world
rely on tourism
as a main source of income and individuals are trading multiple among in the world
.Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
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task achievement
Clarify your main points to make your argument clearer. You need to explain how tourism leads to income generation and better trade interactions clearly.
coherence cohesion
Improve your language accuracy and check for grammatical mistakes. This will make your essay easier to understand and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-connected with the others. Use linking words and phrases to achieve better flow and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which present a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
The writer acknowledges both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, attempting to provide a balanced discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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