Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is a common belief that
competition
is of paramount importance in our life, while
others assert the opinion that cooperation is more necessary than the aforementioned issue. This
essay attempts to shed light on perspectives before concluding that I am in favor
of the latter notion.
On the one hand, fighting against each other could be advantageous to a certain extent. There is only one reason for Change the spelling
favour
this
case: it motivates people
to work
at full capacity. Competition
in the workplace and school will make people
conscious of studying and working so that they do not lose out to others. For example
, ranking at school will create an environment for students in order to focus on learning and achieving their favorite
academic achievements.
Change the spelling
favourite
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that we should try to cooperate more. One reason is that it will be more comfortable if we work
and study and grow together. In our modern society, competition
is really stressful to
Change preposition
for
people
. Instead
, we can work
together to reduce our pressure and be more motivated to work
. For instance
, some companies set an aim for a group of teams in order to reach their target with each other, this
will make everyone have the same work
to do and feel more relaxable. Another reason is that skill sharing and learning may be shared with everyone. When people
cooperate, they can share skills and knowledge, leading to better outcomes and continuous learning.
In conclusion, while
it is irrefutable that competition
has some of its benefits, I would contend that cooperation is more useful and effective to
Change preposition
for
people
nowadays.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
Expand on the main points with more specific examples or evidence. This will help to strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Improve the introduction by stating the thesis more clearly. This will help the reader understand the main argument from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use transition phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. This will make the essay easier to follow and more enjoyable to read.
introduction conclusion present
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, which provide a good structure to the essay.
logical structure
Points are generally well-organized and easy to follow.
complete response
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is important for task achievement.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite