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Writing Samples /
Band 4

task 1: The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.

#illustrations #show #chocolate
The diagram illustrates all the steps by which chocolate is produced. In general, there are ten different stages in
this
 procedure, the main process begins with the ripe red pods of the cocoa tree, followed by harvesting, fermentation, distribution and
finally
 transportation and sale in factories to produce liquid chocolate. The technique begins
the
Change preposition
with the
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 cocoa
comes
Verb problem
apply
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tree
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a tree
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, which is grown in South America, Africa and Indonesia. Once the pods are ripe and red, they are harvested and white cocoa
beans
 are removed,
then
 the
beans
 are fermented and spread in the sun to dry. If
this
 process is followed, the
beans
 will be placed in large bags to be transported on different means of transportation, whether by train or truck. In the next step, the transport reaches the factory, there are
then
beans
 roasted
a
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at a
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temperature of 350 degrees. If the
beans
 are properly roasted, they will be crushed and the outer shell will be removed.
Finally
, the inner part is left is pressed and liquid chocolate is produced.
Submitted by viataz33 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid small inaccuracies such as typographical errors. These minor issues can detract from the overall professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed explanation of each step to enhance clarity. For example, describe more about the fermentation and drying process.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure and the process is described clearly and systematically.
task achievement
You included all the main points in the procedure, such as harvesting, fermentation, and transportation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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