IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic: News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. You should write at least 250 words.

#argument #case #reader #topic #news #editors #broadcast #television #print #newspapers #factors #influence #decisions #support #arguments #evidence
The editorials choose what sort of information they are going to show
it
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apply
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, whether television or newspapers.
However
, we really do not know who is behind
of
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apply
show examples
that choice. As everyone
know
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knows
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information is power.
Firstly
,
last
years
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year
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 the population preferred to read newspapers,
due to
 it was the way of knowing what it
happened
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 in the world. With the advances in
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
,
people
 prefer to use
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 or their smartphone because
this
 is faster and it has rapid access.
Nevertheless
, despite format
news
 has changed, what
people
Add a missing verb
do people
show examples
 desire to read? After some studios, the results reveal that bad
news
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more impact than good.
Therefore
, information mediums decide to offer more dramatic cases. Genetically,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans are configured to feel problems in their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
, so they are used to
leave
Verb problem
living
show examples
 constantly in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trouble.
Consequently
. it is what the mediums show it. The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 might be behind
of
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apply
show examples
all of
this
, because it is a way to control
people
.
However
, there are
people
 who THINK that the most important thing is knowing what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is happening in the world, including the worst
news
. In my case, I realised that I felt
badly
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bad
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 every time that I knew bad notices.
Therefore
, I decided not to read and listen
sad
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to sad
show examples
news
few
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a few
show examples
 years ago. In conclusion, I assume that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 could be better if we focus on beautiful facts
instead
 of what
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is wrong. We have our own problems in our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 and we would be happier keeping beautiful stuff.
Submitted by lydiagarcia.gr on

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task achievement
Ensure your points are consistently supported with detailed examples and specific evidence.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by using more linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by addressing counterarguments and considering different perspectives.
language
Be careful with word choice and grammar errors. Proofread to avoid mistakes and improve readability.
structure
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
You address all parts of the task prompt, discussing what influences news editors' decisions, whether we become used to bad news, and the impact of reporting more good news.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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