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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some countries are reconsidering the use of the death penalty for serious crimes... → Do the benefits of the death penalty outweigh the drawbacks?

In recent years, a number of countries have begun to reconsider whether the
death
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penalty
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 should still be used for serious crimes.
While
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 the
death
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penalty
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 can have some benefits,
such
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 as preventing crime, I believe its disadvantages are more serious, including the risk of executing innocent
people
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 and ethical concerns. On the one hand,
this
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 trend might have a number of benefits. The first point is that the
death
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penalty
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 can stop
people
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 from committing serious crimes. If criminals know they could lose their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, they may think twice before doing something illegal.
For example
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, in the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 when executions were common,
people
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 were often afraid of breaking the law because they knew they might be executed.
Nevertheless
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, it was not always effective in preventing crime.
On the other hand
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, the negative aspects of the
death
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penalty
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 are much more serious. One of the main concerns is that innocent
people
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 can be executed by mistake. The legal system is not perfect, and if someone is executed,
othe
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the
 mistake cannot be corrected.
For example
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, in the United States, there have been some cases where new evidence showed that a person on
death
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 row was innocent. Another problem is that many
people
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 think the
death
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penalty
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 is unfair, because it takes a person’s life and does not give them a chance to correct their mistakes. Many
people
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 believe that all individuals deserve a second chance, and taking their life through the
death
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penalty
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 does not allow
this
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 opportunity. In conclusion,
while
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 the
death
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penalty
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 may have some strengths,
such
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 as preventing crime, its weaknesses outweigh its strengths. The risk of executing innocent
people
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, ethical concerns, and the fact that everyone deserves a second chance make it unfair. For these reasons, I think the weaknesses of the
death
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penalty
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 outweigh its strengths.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first sentence and keep a single stance throughout the essay. Then add 2-3 reasons to support it.
task response
Give at least one strong example with numbers or facts, and explain how it relates to your point.
coherence
Organize ideas in a clear order. Use one idea per paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, such as 'first', 'then', 'also', 'however', 'in addition'.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Fix small errors that may make sentences hard to read.
strength
Clear view on topic.
strength
Good structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
strength
Use of a real-life example.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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