IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, truancy* is a serious problem for both parents and teachers. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

#countries #truancy* #parents #teachers #•what #truancy #effects #child #community
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Nowadays, in several countries, skipping
school
 is a concerning issue for teachers and parents.
This
 essay will ,
firstly
 ,discuss the main causes of
truancy
, and
secondly
, predict common outcomes of
this
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
. Despite that
truancy
 as an act of violation has various reasons ,we will go through the most obvious ones .
Firstly
, the main cause of
students
’ absence during academic time might be abuse and bullying at
school
 ,
hence
,children don’t see any possible positive side
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the place where
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
occurs
Correct subject-verb agreement
occur
show examples
 to be an object of ridicule.
For example
, I had
former
Add an article
a former
show examples
 classmate who was endlessly humiliated by our teachers ,
due to
 her low grades and her relationships at a very young age.
Secondly
, another possible reason for
students
 to abandon
school
 can be family circumstances ,
such
 as divorce ,loss of
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
, member, arguments
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 parents
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. When offsprings constantly experience
tremendous
Add an article
a tremendous
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of stress in combination with social
abusement
Replace the word
abuse
show examples
it always forces
students
 to become truants.
As a result
 of listed causes
students
, who are constantly skipping educational institutions most likely will get serious troubles in the future . Continuous
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
 of
truancy
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
 performed by a group of underage individuals ,
as a consequence
 these groups spend their free time indulging their bad habits and hurting themselves.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 67% of underage Brazilian
students
 ,who skipped educational institutions, had cigarettes and alcohol addictions. Naturally
school
 skippers cause difficulties not only for themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 for their families . In
this
 case, families of delinquents suffer from financial issues and mental states
such
 as burnout and anxiety . I
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example, have personally witnessed
this
 happen with a few of my classmates,
due to
 their escapes from
school
.
To conclude
 everything ,
truancy
 is an issue ,that often begins at
school
 with teachers and classmates, becoming
a triggers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a trigger
triggers
show examples
 for victimized children.
This
 means that teenager do not look at fleeing from educational
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 seriously and they do not take into their consideration how lack of academic knowledge might confine and hinder their lives . It is
Correct your spelling
crucial
crucal
Correct your spelling
crucial
 to instill critical thinking at an early age to help young minds to have
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
show examples
 perception of life and identify what is good and what is not
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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grammar
Try to avoid small grammatical errors and ensure punctuation is used correctly, such as in the consistent use of commas and spacing.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to ensure a smoother flow of ideas from one section to another, making the essay more cohesive.
task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the topic, addressing both causes and effects of truancy thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and inform the reader of the essay's structure and purpose.
task response
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which helps in illustrating your arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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