the chart bellow show information about women and men time spending in two ways

the chart bellow show information about women and men time spending in two ways
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the chart bellow show information about women and men time spending in two ways
The chart provides data about differences between the two genders in
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part-timetime
Correct your spelling
part-time time
part-time-time
part-primetime
and
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time time
full-time-time
spending.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that data between the two genders are similar.
While
Linking Words
the highest percentages of
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part-timetime
Correct your spelling
part-time
reaching belong to both individuals among 20-24 ages, the lowest points of full-
time
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belong to those who are
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
25-29 years.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the top
point
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(40 per centpercent )of leisure
time
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belongs to women in 20-24, whose full-
time
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is 12 per
cent
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. There are 12 and 8 per
cent
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of participants
time
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and full-
time
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between females from 15 to 19.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, women under 25 and 30 have the same shapes
that is
Linking Words
8 percent. The lowest
point
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of full
time
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belongs to girls in 25,
while
Linking Words
those on 30 come up with 10. Regarding males, they have shown similar results. The highest
point
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of
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part-timetime
Correct your spelling
part-time time
part-time-time
part-primetime
(42 per
cent
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)is about boys among 20-24 and their
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time time
full-time-time
is 13 per
cent
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.
While
Linking Words
there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
17
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
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part-timetime
Correct your spelling
part-time time
part-time-time
for boys in 15-19, in full
time
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the
point
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comes by losing 10 per
cent
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that is
Linking Words
7. Make between 25-29 have the same
point
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in both terms which is 8 percent. At the same
time
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, there is 12 per
cent
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of full
time
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for boys under 30, and only 6 of free
time
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, which is the lowest
point
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is, while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words part-timetime, point, time, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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