Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life?Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Famous

people

Use synonyms

have been in our world

since

Change preposition

for

show examples

long

Correct article usage

a long

show examples

time ago,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

our point of view about them has changed. The point of

this

Linking Words

essay is

discuss

Fix the infinitive

to discuss

show examples

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the advantages and disadvantages of having a popular and known name, and what can be the consequences of

this

Linking Words

Firstly

Linking Words

, we are going to explain different social media

troughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

time. Certainly, they have changed according

with

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the avances

show examples

avances

Correct your spelling

advances

of technology.

For instance

Linking Words

, about 40 years ago, the way to show life famous

people

Use synonyms

was using a camera by

paparazzis

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

show examples

. And all

information

Correct article usage

the information

show examples

was printed in magazines.

The

Change preposition

In the

show examples

following years, program

Correct your spelling

show examples

was the way to talk about them.

However

Linking Words

currently

Add a comma

currently,

show examples

social media is connected with

Inthernet

Correct your spelling

Internet

and applications that we normally use with our

movil

Correct your spelling

mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

. Everything is connected and faster. Anyway,

Change preposition

show examples

using a camera,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a magazine or

phone

Correct article usage

a phone

show examples

, famous

people

Use synonyms

are notably exposed, making it more pressure for them. Nothing is perfect, and everything

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a price in

this

Linking Words

life. On the one hand, being famous

people

Use synonyms

has wonderful advantages,

above all

Linking Words

if we are talking about earning money.

That is

Linking Words

the first and main reason that

people

Use synonyms

think about it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, having a famous name in

this

Linking Words

world has

notably

Change the word

notable

show examples

disadvantages. At

first,

Linking Words

the pressure of the opinion from others, because you will receive as good as bad reviews and comments.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they have to show their part of living that can be interesting for the rest of

people

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

type of pressure might take you to

Correct article usage

the drugs

show examples

drugs

Change the noun form

drug

show examples

world. The singer Amy Winehouse is a good example of

this

Linking Words

. In conclusion, many

people

Use synonyms

desire to be famous person, but, do they really think about all

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

behind it? Are they willing to achieve it despite

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

? In my opinion, if you achieve to be a very

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

person it will be your choice, and every effort in

this

Linking Words

life is worth it.

lydiagarcia.grMon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay does have a clear introduction and conclusion, but the main body needs more structured paragraphs. Try to maintain a clear focus in each paragraph and avoid repeating points.

task achievement

Including more specific examples and real-life situations will enrich your arguments and make them more convincing. Try to present a balanced argument by equally discussing both views before stating your opinion.

task achievement

You provided a good historical context about how the treatment of famous people by media has evolved with technology. This shows your awareness of the topic's depth.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively sums up your opinion, posing thought-provoking questions that engage the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

5.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

5.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Your opinion

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that reading newspapers and watching TV news is a waste of time, because it has no direct connection with people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Water pollution has become an increasing problem over the past few decades. What causes water pollution? How can we prevent this problem?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion