People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged that more and more individuals prefer to acquire cultural knowledge of other countries

throughout

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through

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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social media, decreasing a desire for adventure and observing in practice those areas. In my opinion, the primary source of

this

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phenomenon is

financial

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the financial

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condition of

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the commuinty

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commuinty

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community

rather than the advent of new technologies. With the immense

extention

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extension

of accessibility of

high tech

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high-tech

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technologies, people

siginificantly

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significantly

integrated the use of the internet in their lives.

Futhermore

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Furthermore

, it gave

opportunity

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the opportunity

an opportunity

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to easily learn

diverse

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about diverse

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cultures from suburban areas and far-flung corners of the world with just a click of a button.

For instance

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, in Kazan, the number of

population

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the population

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interested in virtual tourism increased dramatically over the

last

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decade, representing 30% of the market, triggering other entrepreneurs to launch

similar

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a similar

the similar

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business.

In addition

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, tourist firms with traditional packages experienced a market reduction, and 20% of them ultimately collapsed.

On the other hand

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, in my opinion, a majority of drawbacks could be linked to the

people

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people's

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prosperity, financial

unstability

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instability

, and low wages.

For example

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, in Moscow,

according to

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the statistics, 45% of citizens cannot afford overseas

travels

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travel

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during the

last

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2 decades, having

discouraged

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been discouraged

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by lower family revenues.

Subsequently

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, most

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apply

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the

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apply

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folks prefer to discover new cultures and countries by watching descriptive videos from social media like Facebook,

Youtube

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YouTube

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and Instagram. Even though visiting in person your desired destinations is more efficient in terms of acquiring more cultural and local details, financial circumstances could play a key role and become the primary disadvantage. In conclusion,

while

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web applications can benefit people by reaching various

location

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locations

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throughout the internet for free, travelling

those

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to those

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places yourself is still the most effective way of learning

new

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about new

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cultures.

However

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tourists

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tourists'

tourist's

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wealth conditions could play a vital role in covering their expenses.

gainutdin87Mon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

The essay successfully addresses the prompt, presenting a clear argument against the idea that the internet can fully replace the experience of traveling to other countries. However, a bit more nuanced discussion could further strengthen the task response. Try to incorporate more perspectives to enrich the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains coherence with a logical structure. Each paragraph develops a single main idea, which is helpful for reader understanding. However, consider improving the use of transition words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and variety to increase clarity and comprehension of ideas. Some sentences are too complex or slightly awkward, which can detract from the essay's overall clarity. Consider simplifying where possible but ensuring depth in ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion that clearly frame the discussion. This helps to give the essay a clear sense of direction and purpose.

task achievement

Good use of specific examples, such as the statistics about virtual tourism in Kazan and financial conditions in Moscow, helps to illustrate the points being made more vividly.

task achievement

The essay makes a compelling argument, effectively presenting reasons why financial conditions may deter travel and favor the use of the internet for cultural learning. This analysis provides clear and comprehensive ideas that are relevant to the prompt.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural immersion
virtual tours
biases
authenticity
cuisine
perpetuate
sustainable tourism
misinterpretations
personal relationships
language acquisition
social media platforms
information accessibility

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People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

many graduates want to start their first job in a big corporation. many others prefer to work for a small company first. compare and contrast their choices and express your opinion

Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactiory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Due to poorer countries experiecing a 'brain drain' they are seeing many professionals, such as doctors and teachers, leaving to work in more developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can be suggested to deal with these situations?