Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s society, the tourist industry is increasing tremendously.
Moreover
, in some countries
, tourism
brings in a large amount of money for its development. However
, local residents complain that damage caused by tourists is often swept under the rug. In my opinion, I agree with the arguments.
Firstly
, because tourism
brings in large sums of cash, some countries
are ready to push the damage problems aside. Some visitors do not care for the country's nature and beauty. Therefore
, historical buildings get damaged and ruined. For example
, “The Cliff of Love” in Spain was an attractive location for visitors. However
, some of them went too far and broke the cliff and its rich history. Moreover
, the person who did it never got any charges because the Spanish government did not want any bad reputations
about them.
Fix the agreement mistake
reputation
Secondly
, some countries
are ready to ignore damaged actions from travelers
. Some of them are willing to break the law when it comes to ancient structures. Most tourists do not learn the country’s laws when Change the spelling
travellers
traveling
. Change the spelling
travelling
Therefore
, they may break the rules intentionally or unintentionally. However
, the government is willing to turn a blind eye to the crimes because tourism
brings in a large amount of money. A good example was in 2022, when the painting “Big Apple” in the France
Museum Replace the word
French
got
shredded by a group of guests accidentally. Despite the crime, the guest did not get any charge Verb problem
was
due to
their big name
status.
Add a hyphen
big-name
To sum up
, it seems to me that many countries
make a large amount of money through tourism
. Therefore
, many governments ignore the drawbacks of this
industry, like environmental damage.Submitted by dohuyhoang on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the task, it could benefit from more in-depth analysis and additional supporting examples to strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
The ideas presented in the essay are generally clear, but could benefit from further development and elaboration to ensure comprehensive coverage of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported with detailed explanations and specific, relevant examples to strengthen the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions and cohesiveness.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a single clear main idea that is fully developed with supporting details to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing more detailed and relevant examples to support your main points, enhancing the overall persuasiveness and clarity of the essay.
general advice
Work on expanding your range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your ideas more effectively and with greater variety.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt completely, covering both the benefits and the drawbacks of tourism.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, providing a good frame for the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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