IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadaysn teenagers are suffering from a lot of pressure.Write an esay of about 250 words to list the causes of teen pressure and give solutions to overcome?

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Nowadays, Many teenagers are suffering from a lot of pressure for
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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reasons
Change preposition
of reasons
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will spot the light
of
Change preposition
on
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 many of these
issues
Use synonyms
 and
proposal
Replace the word
propose
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 some
solotions
Correct your spelling
solutions
 to overcome
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.
Inititally
Correct your spelling
Initially
, group of teen have many of leisure time, they spend
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of their time without any
achevement
Correct your spelling
achievement
.
Then
Linking Words
 , they
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criticism from their society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers in
this
Linking Words
 era have
muliple
Correct your spelling
multiple
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the financial
problem
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 , a lot of these people from
this
Linking Words
 age group are from families
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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 sources.
This
Linking Words
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 youth to feel pressure
while
Linking Words
 their parents
could
Verb problem
were
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not
afordable
Correct your spelling
able
 to provide them
what
Change preposition
with what
show examples
 they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
.
Seconaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, the learning
issues
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, as I mentioned before numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families have
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 resources which
is affect
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
 the learning level
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these adolescents ,
for example
Linking Words
, they can't
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
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 in any university unless it
under
Add a missing verb
is under
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 their family budget.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the health
issues
Use synonyms
, many of youth people spend
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
time on their
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
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 without any activities.
Hence
Linking Words
, they will
ill
Add a missing verb
be ill
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many
soloution
Correct your spelling
solutions
solution
 to facing
these
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
 .To overcome the financial
issues
Use synonyms
, the government should offer them
scholarshipin
Correct your spelling
scholarship in
scholarships
scholarship
Change preposition
in university
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
Add the comma(s)
,
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especially for the
talent
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talented
show examples
onces
Correct your spelling
ones
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people should take the benefit of
thefree
Correct your spelling
free
 online courses which are
aviable
Correct your spelling
available
 for everyone to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
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knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 and level up their technical skills. The authorities
also
Linking Words
 should play a significant role
to
Change preposition
in
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 encouraging teens to be more active in the athletic ,
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 and community activities. In conclusion, some
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 are under pressure from the community for many reasons. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I
disscuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the causes and
proposed
Wrong verb form
propose
show examples
 some
soloutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
.The government could make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life easier for these
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of age by
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
 some
ofsolutions
Correct your spelling
of solutions
solutions
 to let them overcome the
issues
Use synonyms
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be a good citizen in their country.

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coherence
Consider revising the essay to have clearer topic sentences and supporting details to enhance cohesion. For example, begin each paragraph with a clear idea or reason and then expand on it with examples or explanations.
coherence
Although the essay answers all parts of the task, ensure your ideas are conveyed in a more structured and logical manner. Linking words and phrases can help to make transitions more seamless.
task achievement
Check for grammatical errors and typos. Some sentences are fragmented or unclear, which affects the clarity of your argument. For example, 'Inititally, group of teen have many of leisure time...' should be 'Initially, a group of teenagers has too much leisure time...'.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and factual information to support your points. For instance, including statistical data or case studies can strengthen your argument.
coherence
Clearer division of paragraphs can improve the readability. Each paragraph should ideally discuss only one main idea.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant and significant issue affecting teenagers today, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have proposed practical solutions to the problems identified, like scholarships and online courses, which are concrete steps that can be taken.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points and closing the essay appropriately.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • **Academic Pressure**: competition, prestigious, workload, counseling services
  • **Social Media Influence**: digital literacy, anxiety, self-esteem, boundaries, offline activities
  • **Family Expectations**: unrealistic self-expectations, open communication, realistic goals, emotional support
  • **Peer Pressure**: fit in, accepted, risky behaviors, supportive environment, coping mechanisms, extracurricular
  • **Economic Pressures**: financial constraints, part-time jobs, financial aid programs, stress management workshops
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