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Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

#people #children #tv #home #school
It is clear that
 in the
last
 few
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 we witnessed a significant improvement in both
TV
 shows and education systems,In my point of view, yes
a
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 agree First of all, children could
imrove
Correct your spelling
improve
 their listening and reading skills by watching their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
channels
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
TV
,
also
 some
TV
 shows
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 smart questions that
expands
Change the verb form
expand
show examples
 the understanding and way of thinking for the child,
for instance
, some
channels
 which established lately
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
show examples
 the English alphabets and voiles,
also
 a variety of
channels
 teaches maths and English questions for young children.
However
, some
TV
channels
 that are illegal show
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
inappropriate videos that are accessible to all
TV
 users,
for instance
, videos that include violent perspectives and sexual content,
therefore
, in order to educate our children positively, we should give them limited learning
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 on
TV
, and the rest learning will be completed
unremotly
Correct your spelling
remotely
. In conclusion,
TV
 will take an essential role in all education systems in the next few years, in order to benefit a positive acknowledgement from it, commissions should punish any organization or institutions that post or teach things that are against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human nature.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on providing more comprehensive and precise explanations for your arguments. Expand on how TV shows can enhance specific skills and provide more varied examples.
logical structure
Ensure a smooth flow by using more linking words and cohesive devices to connect your ideas and paragraphs better.
introduction conclusion present
Revisit your thesis statement and introduction to clearly state your position and what will be discussed in the essay. Also, make sure to reiterate your main points succinctly in the conclusion.
complete response
Address all parts of the task question more thoroughly, explaining both why you agree and any potential limitations or conditions of your agreement more clearly.
supported main points
The essay provides examples of how children can improve listening and reading skills by watching educational TV shows.
coherence
The writer suggests measures to counteract the negative effects of inappropriate TV content, highlighting a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • source of distraction
  • educational content
  • entertainment shows
  • advertisements
  • inappropriate content
  • hinders learning
  • interactive learning opportunities
  • traditional classroom settings
  • one-way medium
  • individual learning needs
  • prolonged screen time
  • negative health effects
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • lack of physical activity
  • overall development
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • interactive, hands-on activities
  • passive television watching
  • participatory forms of learning
  • group projects
  • experiments
  • real-world problem solving
  • cognitive abilities
  • social skills
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