Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

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The vast
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majority of people learn by using
TV
and that's because learning by
TV
could be more enjoyable and from
this
point they think that
TV
is a good tool
to
Change preposition
for
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children
. I totally disagree with that
and
Correct word choice
apply
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this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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because watching
TV
for several hours can cause health problems,
also
the overuse of
TV
can
make
Verb problem
cause
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physical problems. Television lights can destroy mental health. When
children
exposure
Verb problem
are exposed
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to blue lights for seven or perhaps eight to ten hours in the day
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
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absolutely
will cause
Wrong verb form
causes
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mental issues.
For example
, my little sister
love
Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
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to watch English
TV
shows and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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have of the day
saw
Verb problem
watching
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that
Correct determiner usage
those
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shows, after two months we all
notice
Wrong verb form
noticed
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that she can't count small
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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and understand something quickly
due to
using the
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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. One of the biggest side
effect
Change to a plural noun
effects
show examples
of using
TV
or another technology is physical issues. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
used to
Verb problem
apply
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learn everything from the television without any activities or physical exercise they will be
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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lazy and can create
obesity
Correct article usage
an obesity
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problem. For
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
, my brother's son
love
Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
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video
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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and
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
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all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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day
played
Wrong verb form
playing
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video games, after
few
Correct article usage
a few
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years he
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
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fat and
can't
Wrong verb form
couldn't
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walk
to
Change preposition
apply
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long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
. There are multiple ways to develop
children
and help them to learn but, using
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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as
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
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methods
Fix the agreement mistake
method
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can give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
harmful
Correct article usage
a harmful
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impact. schools must be careful about the
children
and teach them
by
Change preposition
in
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many ways and of
course
Add a comma
course,
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don't concentrate on
TV
.
Submitted by shahad.san966 on

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to clearly state your position and provide an overview of your main points. The introduction is somewhat vague and lacks a clear stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument. This will help in improving the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
general
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure. Simplify complex sentences to avoid errors and ensure that your ideas are clearly understood.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. Avoid generalizations and focus on illustrating your arguments with concrete evidence.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument against the idea of children learning effectively by watching TV, which is aligned with the task requirement.
task achievement
The essay includes personal examples, which makes the arguments more relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • source of distraction
  • educational content
  • entertainment shows
  • advertisements
  • inappropriate content
  • hinders learning
  • interactive learning opportunities
  • traditional classroom settings
  • one-way medium
  • individual learning needs
  • prolonged screen time
  • negative health effects
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • lack of physical activity
  • overall development
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • interactive, hands-on activities
  • passive television watching
  • participatory forms of learning
  • group projects
  • experiments
  • real-world problem solving
  • cognitive abilities
  • social skills
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