Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

#people #children #tv #home #school

Vast

Add an article

The vast

show examples

majority of people learn by using

and that's because learning by

could be more enjoyable and from

this

point they think that

is a good tool

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

. I totally disagree with that

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

because watching

for several hours can cause health problems,

also

the overuse of

can

make

Verb problem

cause

show examples

physical problems. Television lights can destroy mental health. When

children

exposure

Verb problem

are exposed

show examples

to blue lights for seven or perhaps eight to ten hours in the day

that

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

absolutely

will cause

Wrong verb form

causes

show examples

mental issues.

For example

, my little sister

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

loves

show examples

to watch English

shows and

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

show examples

have of the day

saw

Verb problem

watching

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

shows, after two months we all

notice

Wrong verb form

noticed

show examples

that she can't count small

number

Fix the agreement mistake

numbers

show examples

and understand something quickly

due to

using the

Correct your spelling

show examples

. One of the biggest side

effect

Change to a plural noun

effects

show examples

of using

or another technology is physical issues. If

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

used to

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn everything from the television without any activities or physical exercise they will be

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

lazy and can create

obesity

Correct article usage

an obesity

show examples

problem. For

instence

Correct your spelling

instance

, my brother's son

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

loves

show examples

video

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

and

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

show examples

all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

day

played

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

video games, after

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

years he

becomes

Wrong verb form

became

show examples

fat and

can't

Wrong verb form

couldn't

show examples

walk

Change preposition

apply

show examples

long

distance

Fix the agreement mistake

distances

show examples

. There are multiple ways to develop

children

and help them to learn but, using

Correct your spelling

show examples

essential

Correct article usage

an essential

show examples

methods

Fix the agreement mistake

method

show examples

can give

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

harmful

Correct article usage

a harmful

show examples

impact. schools must be careful about the

children

and teach them

Change preposition

show examples

many ways and of

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

don't concentrate on

Submitted by shahad.san966 on Mon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

Revise the introduction to clearly state your position and provide an overview of your main points. The introduction is somewhat vague and lacks a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument. This will help in improving the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Try to use more linking words and phrases to connect sentences and ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.

general

Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure. Simplify complex sentences to avoid errors and ensure that your ideas are clearly understood.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. Avoid generalizations and focus on illustrating your arguments with concrete evidence.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear argument against the idea of children learning effectively by watching TV, which is aligned with the task requirement.

task achievement

The essay includes personal examples, which makes the arguments more relatable and engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

source of distraction
educational content
entertainment shows
advertisements
inappropriate content
hinders learning
interactive learning opportunities
traditional classroom settings
one-way medium
individual learning needs
prolonged screen time
negative health effects
eye strain
poor posture
lack of physical activity
overall development
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
interactive, hands-on activities
passive television watching
participatory forms of learning
group projects
experiments
real-world problem solving
cognitive abilities
social skills

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to watch TV both at home and school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? – Disagree -

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+