In the Future More People Will Choose to Go on Holiday in Their Own Country and Not Travel Abroad on Holiday. Do You Agree or Disagree?
Holiday days are
important
event in Add an article
an important
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
every
working person. Change preposition
of every
In
Change preposition
On
this
day they can take their mind off the city's hustle and bustle and enjoy these free days. The question arises where workers should spend their holidays. Some people believe that better to travel abroad, others
think that their own country is the best place. We will discuss both opinionsCorrect word choice
while others
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
I will speak my opinion at the end
of this
essay.
To begin
with the first position. First and foremost, a travel
abroad is an amazing experience, it is Remove the article
travel
a journey
a trip
the
unique opportunity to see the world Correct article usage
a
your
eyes. Change preposition
through your
Moreover
, we can practice your
non-native language,Correct pronoun usage
our
do
exchange Unnecessary verb
apply
of
a cultural experience, Change preposition
apply
feel
Correct word choice
and feel
yourself
as a part of the global world. Abroad countries provide a lot of miscellaneous sights, more than in the homeland. Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
Nevertheless
some disadvantages exist, Add a comma
Nevertheless,
for example
, some countries require a visa or create other bureaucratic obstacles. Furthermore
, some regions are very expensive, and also
flights are high-cost. Overall
, it is the
great variant for rich and active Correct article usage
a
persons
.
The next option is a vacation Replace the word
people
in
within Change preposition
apply
own
country. The major countries Correct pronoun usage
my own
such
as Russia, the large Europian
nations, and Israel, contain a lot of outstanding places, attractive resorts with Correct your spelling
European
the
congenial climate, and Correct article usage
a
the
natural wonders. Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, knowledge of foreign languages doesn't necessarily but you can better perceive your local culture. Overall
, it is a low-cost option for partiotic
persons that very love Correct your spelling
patriotic
artistic
own
homeland.
In conclusion, a certain answer Correct pronoun usage
their own
don't
exist. It depends Change the verb form
doesn't
from
many factors namely your financial welfare, desire to explore new things, and cultural predilections. I Change preposition
on
Add a missing verb
am incline
incline
to the first optionReplace the word
inclined
,
because I want to discover Remove the comma
apply
new
world.Add an article
a new
the new
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on
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task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the task. While you have discussed both viewpoints, provide more detailed arguments and examples for each.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay. Some of the ideas are repetitive, and the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Make sure each paragraph elaborates on a single main idea.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement. For instance, 'Holiday days are important event' should be 'Holiday days are important events.'
coherence and cohesion
Improve the range and accuracy of your vocabulary. Phrases like 'very love own homeland' should be 'really love their homeland.'
task achievement
Good effort in addressing both viewpoints and providing a conclusion that includes your own stance.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear attempt to structure the argument with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The use of transitions like 'To begin with,' 'The next option,' and 'In conclusion,' shows an effort to structure the essay logically.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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