It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagreee with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

It's essential to teach young
children
about the huge difference between right and wrong at a young age,
also
punishment is important to assist them
to learn
Change preposition
in learning
show examples
the lesson,In my opinion, yes
a
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
agree. First of all, any person in his childhood does not differentiate between correct and false,
therefore
, in order to teach him the difference, you should explain to him the consequence of doing a wrong thing,
However
, some
children
don't care and think they're grownups if they reject the instructions of
the're
Correct your spelling
there
parents, in order to force them to be straightforward, the most positively effective idea to educate them is to punish them.
Furthermore
, if you punish
children
, they will regret all their selfish and foolish actions,
Nonetheless
, punishing
children
does not mean violating them or hitting them, just impose simple punishments,for illustration, abolish TV for two days, in
this
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
they will start to think logically and with common sense.
To conclude
, punishment plays an essential
rule
Correct your spelling
role
show examples
in educating
children
positively, but should not cross the line,
for instance
, no violation and bullying.
Submitted by yazanalt523 on

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear stance which is good. However, try to expand more on your ideas to make them comprehensive. You can include more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, work on using more varied and appropriate linking words. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
It is good that you have provided a clear opinion in your introduction. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
task achievement
The suggestion of using non-violent punishments such as abolishing TV is specific and relevant.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral values
  • ethics
  • discipline
  • develop
  • understand
  • consequences
  • positive reinforcement
  • negotiation
  • communication
  • empathy
  • time-out
  • grounding
  • loss of privileges
  • physical punishment
  • harsh discipline
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