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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people prefer to live in an extended family where a number of different generations live together. Others prefer to live in a small, nuclear family. List some of the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large, extended family.

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These days,It is becoming more and more popular for populations to live in an extended family.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of modern life,a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 still prefer to live in a large family which comprises various range of ages.It is obvious that there are many advantages and disadvantages of living in
extended
Add an article
the extended
an extended
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 family.In
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will address some pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
life way
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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. Let's begin by looking at some benefits of living in a vast family.As a matter of fact,the community who choose to live in an enormous family can support each other
in
Change preposition
with
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 a lot of different responsibilities.
In other words
Linking Words
,older children might be taken for granted to care
of
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for
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 their younger siblings.
Moreover
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,the community who tend to live in a large family might learn how to communicate with others in society
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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 than
people
Use synonyms
 in a small family.Clearly,because of the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in an extended family,parents may
learn to
Verb problem
teach
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 their children to
compatible
Add a missing verb
be compatible
show examples
 together.the more
people
Use synonyms
compatible
Add a missing verb
are compatible
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 with their siblings in a huge family,the more satisfying relationship in the society. Turning to the other side of the argument,living in a large family could have some demerits.
For instance
Linking Words
,each member of the family may not be able to concentrate
for
Change preposition
on
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 doing different
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 or studying lessons at home in a crowded family.
Similarly
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,various personality
base
Wrong verb form
based
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 on different
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
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 of ages can cause some problems in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 large family.
In addition
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,the populations who like to live in an extensive family might complain about the lack of personal space at home.Generally speaking,in every family parents and children would have their own private room.
However
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,in the large
family
Add a comma
family,
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 they might have to live in small size rooms together in their house.
To conclude
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,despite the fact that living in a large family can be more convenient to support and learn each other for better relationships,It
also
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 can make some problems for individual atmosphere and focus.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance readability and coherence. Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, punctuation, and spelling to improve the overall quality of the essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and illustrations to strengthen the supporting points.
task achievement
Avoid redundancy and irrelevant information to maintain conciseness and clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of living in an extended family, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purpose well.
task achievement
The main points are generally supported with relevant explanations.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • support system
  • cultural traditions
  • financial support
  • economical
  • emotional support
  • companionship
  • isolation
  • privacy
  • conflicts
  • disagreements
  • responsibilities
  • obligations
  • burdensome
  • decision-making
  • diverse role models
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