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Writing Samples
Band 8

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Pie chart shows the which transports people used. Table shows reasons why they are used transports.

The diagrams below give information on transport and car use in Edmonton. Pie chart shows the which transports people used. Table shows reasons why they are used transports.
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The pie chart gives pieces of data about the four transportation that people
use
Use synonyms
 (Car, LRT, Bus and Taxi ), Meanwhile, The table represents 5 reasons why they
use
Use synonyms
 transport in Edmonton.
Overall
Linking Words
, Most of the citizens
use
Use synonyms
 a car (45%) and they
use
Use synonyms
 LRT (Light Rail Transit )35%, And fewer were used Buses and Taxi which are 10% only.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,The reasons why people
use
Use synonyms
 transportation are divided into 5 purposes (Commuting to work, Shopping, Leisure activities, Taking children to school and Business). The reason Commute to work (55%) was the greater percentage compared to the other 4 purposes.
Then
Linking Words
, the Business purpose which represented 45%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Bus and Taxi transportation
similarly
Linking Words
 the same percentages which are 10% only,
As well as
Linking Words
, Shopping and Leisure activities they are the same only 15%.
In addition
Linking Words
, People used transport for Business and Taking children to school reasons (45%) and (40%) respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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