Task 2 People live longer in some part of the world. What do you think is the reason of this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

#people #part #world #reason

it is true that the

lifspan

Correct your spelling

lifespan

in some countries

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

more than the others .

food

qualities can be

a prime reasons

Correct the article-noun agreement

a prime reason

prime reasons

show examples

for that . I think that it can

have

Verb problem

show examples

detrimental

due to

several reasons. it is apparent that

food

is for living longer .

individual

Replace the word

Individuals

show examples

require healthy and organic

food

because

source

Add an article

the source

show examples

of lots of

deasis

Correct your spelling

diseases

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

diabetes and cancer , is unhealthy

food

and because

insome

Correct your spelling

some

parts of the words people do not

acess

Correct your spelling

access

to a

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

or presumably

due to

the price of healthy

food

, their normal consumption is junk

food

, which as I have mentioned , it is not beneficial .

For example

, buying from big fast

food

branch

Fix the agreement mistake

branches

show examples

can be cheaper than

a healthy and organic

Remove the article

healthy and organic food

a portion of healthy and organic food

show examples

food

and because of poverty

peoples

Change noun form

people's

show examples

priority is price rather than its effect on

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

. living longer can not be profitable for the earth and other creatures . providing

food

and space for myriads of people is not feasible and overpopulation can be perilous for the Earth . more people means more pollution and overconsumption , which can be considered perilous for flora and fauna

in particular

endangered species.

for instance

rare

Correct article usage

a rare

show examples

specias

Correct your spelling

species

named

Correct article usage

the mazandaran

show examples

mazandaran

Change the capitalization

Mazandaran

show examples

tiger , which lived in

iran

Change the capitalization

Iran

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

died out because of

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

activities

such

as poaching and

deforastation

Correct your spelling

deforestation

. in conclusion ,

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

live longer in some places

due to

better

food

and

avioding

Correct your spelling

avoiding

to eat

Change the verb form

eating

show examples

useless

food

such

fastfood

Correct your spelling

fast food

although

, it is not useful for our planet and other animals and planets.

Submitted by yasaman.bozorgzad9 on Mon Jun 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the clarity and coherence of your ideas by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs each focusing on a single main point. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

task achievement

Make sure to fully develop your ideas with more supporting details and relevant examples. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your essay's depth.

task achievement

You made valid points about the impact of food quality and the implications of longer lifespans on the environment.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear beginning and conclusion which help frame the discussion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

longevity
lifespan
preventive medicine
chronic diseases
public health initiatives
sedentary lifestyle
nutrition
wellness
healthcare infrastructure
demographic shift
geriatrics
social security
sustainability
overpopulation
quality of life

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Task 2 People live longer in some part of the world. What do you think is the reason of this? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One should never judge a person by its external appearance. Use specific details and reasons to support your answer.

People nowadays are spending more time at the work place and it is argued this is a problem for family life.To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?