More and more people are using computer and electric device to access information. Therefore, there is no need for printed books, magazine and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
The world
have
reached the information technology era. Miscellaneous electronic devices, Change the verb form
has
such
as computers, smartphones, VR devices, and iPads, Linking Words
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
a
indispensable part of our life. The creation of the internet Change the article
an
have
changed our world and ideas about Change the verb form
has
technologies
. Some Fix the agreement mistake
technology
Use synonyms
ones
have become obsolete, Correct pronoun usage
apply
whereas
others have become popular. Many Linking Words
people
believe that we will use only new Use synonyms
ones
in the future, Use synonyms
while
others believe in the contrary opinion. We will discuss some obsolete technologies namely printed Linking Words
books
, Use synonyms
magazines
, and Use synonyms
newspapers
in Use synonyms
this
essay.
Linking Words
To begin
with printed Linking Words
books
. In spite of Use synonyms
prevalence
of electronic Add an article
the prevalence
books
, paper Use synonyms
books
are sold with Use synonyms
the
great success. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, its cost is more than Linking Words
price
of Correct article usage
the price
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
books
. It happens because many Use synonyms
people
love printed Use synonyms
books
, somebody reads Use synonyms
ones
easier or like Use synonyms
atmosphere
of vintage times Add an article
the atmosphere
therefore
many Linking Words
people
preserve long-standing Use synonyms
books
in their home libraries. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Also
you can read paper Add a comma
Also,
books
even if your gadget will be discharged. All in all, I am convinced Use synonyms
certanly
that paper Correct your spelling
certainly
books
will be rife in the future.
The next point of Use synonyms
this
essay is Linking Words
magazines
. It is common in houses of Use synonyms
vary
services. It was a light reading in prior times. Replace the word
various
People
have been reading Use synonyms
magazines
until they Use synonyms
wait
a service. Nowadays, Add the preposition
wait for
people
can Use synonyms
be find
more interesting Change the verb form
find
pastime
Fix the agreement mistake
pastimes
in
their phones, Change preposition
on
for example
, Linking Words
the
mobile games. Correct article usage
apply
According to
my opinion, Linking Words
magazines
have lost Use synonyms
its
significance.
The latest point of Correct pronoun usage
their
this
essay is Linking Words
newspapers
. It is Use synonyms
similar
situation to Add an article
a similar
magazines
. In Use synonyms
Linking Words
last
century Correct article usage
the last
newspapers
were a significant source of information, but Use synonyms
Use synonyms
ones
have lost Correct pronoun usage
they
this
function and become useless. Linking Words
While
many elderly men Linking Words
reads
Change the verb form
read
newspapers
, Use synonyms
but
the young generation doesn't use Correct word choice
apply
Use synonyms
ones
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Hence
the future doesn't exist for it.
In conclusion, I will repeat my position. Printed Linking Words
books
have Use synonyms
the
great prospects Correct article usage
apply
due to
amateurs of the corresponding aesthetics. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, Linking Words
magazines
and Use synonyms
newspapers
are leaving our world Use synonyms
unfortunately
.Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately
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task achievement
Your essay presents a good understanding of the topic, but some ideas can be expanded further to provide a more comprehensive response. For example, you could delve deeper into why people still prefer printed books despite the convenience of digital formats.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments are logically developed. Some of the points in your essay, particularly in the sections about magazines and newspapers, could be better organized to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
There were minor grammatical errors and some sentence structures that were awkward. For instance, 'The world have reached' should be 'The world has reached' and 'is a indispensable part' should be 'is an indispensable part'. These small grammatical mistakes can disrupt the flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion were well-structured and clearly presented your stance.
relevant specific examples
You provided a variety of examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
complete response
The essay addresses all parts of the task and keeps a clear focus throughout.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example