Should smoking be completely banned everywhere, with no one allowed to smoke anywhere?

#smoke

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It is sometimes argued that smoking should be completely banned everywhere. No one can

smoke

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apply

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anywhere because smoking causes bad effects to the public or themselves. In my opinion, I completely

argee

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agree

that would be a good idea. Smoking is bad for everyone.

Firstly

, smoking can hurt the

people

who are smoking

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daily.

People

may not realize smoking can produce

lot

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a lot

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of bad materials. Those materials can hurt their health and may affect their lives.

According to

BBC News, over 500,000

people

in Hong Kong have health problems because they

smoke

a lot.

Also

, their bodies are getting worse by smoking since they become older. That shows a serious result for us. Smoking is totally bad for every

people

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person

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Secondly

, smoking can

also

hurt

smoker's

Correct article usage

a smoker's

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family or other person.

The scientists

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Scientists

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are already

prove

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proven

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smoking

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not

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only affects

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apply

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the

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apply

show examples

smokers

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apply

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but

also

affects

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apply

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other

people

since they smell the

smoke

. The bad materials from

smoke

can go to their lung and make them

breath

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breathe

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harder.

According to

the

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report by China, it finds

the

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apply

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people

who live near

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apply

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the

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apply

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smokers

will get sick easily.

As a result

, it makes

people

die

eariler

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earlier

. In my opinion, the government should take more tax from the

smokers

. In

conlcusion

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conclusion

, I totally agree that smoking should be banned by

government

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the government

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. Smoking not only affects

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apply

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the

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apply

show examples

smokers

. It

also

affects

other person

Change the wording

another person

other people

show examples

Submitted by millstonelee on Tue Jun 25 2024

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grammar vocabulary

Focus on refining your grammar and vocabulary. There are several grammar mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('smoking can produce lot of bad materials' should be 'smoking can produce a lot of bad materials'). Vocabulary could also be improved by using more advanced and varied words.

supporting evidence

Provide more examples and evidence to support your points. This would help in enhancing the quality of your arguments. Try to cite a variety of sources or hypothetical situations to strengthen your essay.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly states your opinion and the conclusion reiterates this well, providing a sense of closure.

main points clarity

The main points are generally clear and relate directly to the topic, showcasing a good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Should smoking be completely banned everywhere, with no one allowed to smoke anywhere?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

18.Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should spent money on languages that are dying and a few number of people uses them, some think this is a waste of resources. Discuss both views and tell what's your take on this issue.

The hart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.

Many people think technological devices such as smartphones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?