Should smoking be completely banned everywhere, with no one allowed to smoke anywhere?

#smoke

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It is sometimes argued that smoking should be completely banned everywhere. No one can

smoke

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apply

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anywhere because smoking causes bad effects to the public or themselves. In my opinion, I completely

argee

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agree

that would be a good idea. Smoking is bad for everyone.

Firstly

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, smoking can hurt the

people

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who are smoking

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apply

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daily.

People

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may not realize smoking can produce

lot

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a lot

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of bad materials. Those materials can hurt their health and may affect their lives.

According to

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BBC News, over 500,000

people

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in Hong Kong have health problems because they

smoke

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a lot.

Also

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, their bodies are getting worse by smoking since they become older. That shows a serious result for us. Smoking is totally bad for every

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people

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person

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Secondly

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, smoking can

also

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hurt

smoker's

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a smoker's

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family or other person.

The scientists

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Scientists

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are already

prove

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proven

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smoking

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not

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only affects

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apply

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the

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apply

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smokers

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apply

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but

also

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affects

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apply

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other

people

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since they smell the

smoke

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. The bad materials from

smoke

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can go to their lung and make them

breath

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breathe

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harder.

According to

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the

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show examples

report by China, it finds

the

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apply

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people

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who live near

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apply

show examples

the

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apply

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smokers

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will get sick easily.

As a result

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, it makes

people

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die

eariler

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earlier

. In my opinion, the government should take more tax from the

smokers

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. In

conlcusion

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conclusion

, I totally agree that smoking should be banned by

government

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the government

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. Smoking not only affects

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apply

show examples

the

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apply

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smokers

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. It

also

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affects

other person

Change the wording

another person

other people

show examples

Submitted by millstonelee on Tue Jun 25 2024

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grammar vocabulary

Focus on refining your grammar and vocabulary. There are several grammar mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('smoking can produce lot of bad materials' should be 'smoking can produce a lot of bad materials'). Vocabulary could also be improved by using more advanced and varied words.

supporting evidence

Provide more examples and evidence to support your points. This would help in enhancing the quality of your arguments. Try to cite a variety of sources or hypothetical situations to strengthen your essay.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly states your opinion and the conclusion reiterates this well, providing a sense of closure.

main points clarity

The main points are generally clear and relate directly to the topic, showcasing a good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Should smoking be completely banned everywhere, with no one allowed to smoke anywhere?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important what are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Children these days spend a lot of time apart from their parents because in many homes, both parents work. What problems can be caused by this? What are some ways to support such children?