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Band 3

cars are being drive with AI, why? is this positive or negative?

#cars #drive
Currently, cars are changing, during
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 AI
have
Change the verb form
has
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 added to our vehicles in order to drive them by themselves.
This
 is happening
due to
 the advancements in technology, mainly, implemented by TESLA and NIO companies in car scenes.
This
 essay believes
that is
 a positive development, as it is going to help us to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
accidents
, as time and extra costs related.
Due to
 the latest technological advances achieved by companies
such
 as TESLA and NIO, nowadays, vehicles can be
drove
Wrong verb form
driven
show examples
 themselves using AI. Big tech companies have been advancing during
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decades in order to develop new technologies to reduce
accidents
 and save time and extra
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 related to transportation.
For example
, TESLA is developing a taxi which is
drive
Wrong verb form
driven
show examples
 by itself, reducing costs for
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
 related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it safer. These changes should be welcomed as the aim is to achieve a safer environment
reducing
Change preposition
by reducing
show examples
 vehicle
accidents
. Technological advances should be implemented for human and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 improvements,
that is
 the reason why
this
 essay
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
this
 change
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive.
For example
, a study concluded that if we continue with
this
 path, by 2040, 50% of cars will be
drove
Wrong verb form
driven
show examples
 by themselves using AI, resulting in a
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
 of almost 80% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
accidents
 and significant costs for
costumer
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
.
Submitted by tomasmutilva99 on

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task achievement
You should consolidate your thesis statement. Clarify why the development is positive and briefly touch on the main points that will be developed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. For instance, 'vehicles can be drove themselves' should be 'vehicles can drive themselves'. Minor errors like these can accumulate and disrupt the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop your conclusion further. Summarize the main arguments and restate their significance. A well-rounded conclusion reinforces your essay's message.
task achievement
You have a strong command of the topic and have used examples to illustrate your points, particularly mentioning companies like TESLA and NIO.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is clearly divided into paragraphs, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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