IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many cities have areas where the only cars are taxies and buses. Is this a positive or a negative development? What are the effects of this on individuals and society ?

#cities #areas #cars #taxies #buses #development #effects #individuals #society
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Many cities have
areas
the
Rephrase
where the
show examples
 only cars are taxis and buses and
this
 is a great idea is it
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
positive or negative ? we will discuss the reasons and examples in
this
 essay .
To begin
 with , the positive of having an area where the visitors and the tourists it will be easy for them to find taxies or buses
for instance
 ,
according to
 a new visitor from another country wants to go somewhere it will be hard to find a taxi between the cars but the
areas
 help her find a taxi quickly ,
consequently
, the city will develop and as it a result it will effects on individuals and society , in my opinion having
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
an area
areas
show examples
areas
 is a great idea that could be a goal
as well as
 it will be arranged and organized
due to
 people prefer organized places
On the other hand
 ,
in addition
, the negative of the
areas
 may be the
areas
 have no enough space for a huge number of people ,
Hence
 it will be an issue and problem and it could be not in our favour
additionally
 only one place for taxi won't be a good
due to
 people who far away the
areas
 it going to be a trouble , but I believe that the positive outweighs the negative In reiterate , the positive side outweighs the negative and the
areas
 will do a remarkable development that could bring visitors to the country owing to the idea .
Submitted by albaikhoor on

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task achievement
Your essay covers both positive and negative aspects of the topic, which is good. However, your ideas and arguments need to be more clearly and systematically developed. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or aspect and use linking words to smoothly transition between arguments.
language
There are quite a few grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence punctuation. Try to use more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate your language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, they could be more impactful. Try to make your introduction more engaging and clearly restate your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of having areas restricted to buses and taxis.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion in your essay, which forms a good basic structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban environment
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • public health
  • public transport systems
  • social mobility
  • economic savings
  • fuel, parking, and maintenance costs
  • road infrastructure costs
  • healthcare savings
  • social equity
  • social inclusion
  • investment in public transport
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