IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Instead of revealing the truth, the mass media very often misguides people. What are the reasons behind this and the visible effects on the society at large?

#truth #mass #media #misguides #people #effects #society
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Informational
media
 nowadays holds
paramount
Correct article usage
a paramount
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 effect in influencing
commom
Correct your spelling
common
people
.
While
 it is meant to spread awareness and information at a mass level,
these
Change the determiner
this news
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news
 can often be misleading.
This
 act may be attributed to
media
 being biased and under the influence of stakeholders,
as well as
 to withhold key
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 that may put national security at stake.
As a result
,
people
 have started to disbelieve the
news
 source and at times, the authenticity of genuine
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 has
also
 been questioned by them. To start with, whether it is a democratic
country
 or secular,
news
 channels have been noticed to be under pressure in one way or the other and are mostly bound to show one side of the picture only, that might work in the best interest of their funders.
For instance
, a corrupt politician might be portrayed as the ideal candidate to rule the
country
,
whereas
, every act of a rightly deserving leader could be presented as offending and against the best interest of the nation. Having said that, not revealing the facts to the
people
 could be to hide the controversial issues that might not be in the best interest of the
country
 and may lead to a countrywide panic.
For example
, if a national
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
the foreign
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 terrorist group is threatening to
disrput
Correct your spelling
disrupt
 the peace of the
country
, it would be preferable to hold back
this
news
 until appropriate measures have been taken to ensure public safety. The above reasons have led to some visible effects of misguidance by the mass
media
 have been observed not only among
people
 at the national level
,
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apply
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 but
also
 among those who reside overseas. The vulnerable public has started to deny the
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 and
have
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has
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 lost faith in all
news
 sources.
This
 may prove
to
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apply
show examples
detrimental at times as not all
that is
 said on these channels is false. Not believing in factual information can become a big hurdle in achieving a collective
natinal
Correct your spelling
national
 goal. In view of the above, we can conclude that twisting important facts by
media
, for personal or national reasons, can have multiple effects at a mass level.
However
, I believe that it may be both right and wrong to cover the truth by the
media
,
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apply
show examples
 if done for a better cause.
Submitted by dr.aqeelazafar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and stance. Ensure uniformity in your arguments throughout the essay for stronger coherence.
Task Achievement
Each paragraph should support the main argument in a clear and detailed manner. The second body paragraph could benefit from additional concrete examples or studies to strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on your transitions between sentences and topics for smoother flow. Developing a robust connection between sentences would heighten readability.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
Your introduction is engaging and establishes the argument well, which effectively grabs the reader's attention.
Complete Response
You address the topic adequately and provide a balanced view of the pros and cons of mass media misguiding people.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
The conclusion summarizes the essay nicely and reiterates the main idea, providing a sense of closure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Misinformation
  • Media Conglomerates
  • Clickbait
  • Editorial Slant
  • Fake News
  • Cognitive Bias
  • Critical Thinking
  • Fact-checking
  • Social Fabric
  • Echo Chamber
  • Public Discourse
  • Disinformation Campaigns
  • Media Literacy
  • Censorship
  • Agenda-setting
What to do next:
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