Task 2: Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some
nations
, there are numerous similar
factories
and
items
. It is a beneficial development
according to
some individuals
while
others assume it has many drawbacks. In
this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and give my personal opinion
at the end
. There are two reasons why many
countries
have the same
shops
and
products
is a positive development.
Firstly
, customers may find it easier to make purchases when some
factories
and
items
are globalised. Because of similar
shops
and
products
, it allows customers from different areas to access those
products
which were previously unavailable to them.
For example
, in 1974, people who lived in Vietnam could not buy Sony’s camera.
However
, these days they can purchase Sony’s camera easily
due to
the US and Vietnam having the same
shops
and
products
.
In addition
, some
factories
are
built
Add a missing verb
being built
show examples
more and more in some
nations
which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
more jobs for local employees. If some
nations
have the same
shops
and
products
to produce,
marketing
Replace the word
market
show examples
,
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
and manage so
that is
the reason why the unemployment rate in these
nations
will reduce Some consider it a downside development if many
countries
have the same
shops
and
products
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
two different reasons. First of all, the
environment
will be polluted
due to
the increase in production. When producing more
items
for the global market, it takes more resources so the
environment
will be polluted.
Secondly
, if developing
countries
have the same
products
as developed
countries
, they will not create local
products
and focus on selling international
products
. It will lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dependence on
oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
show examples
nations
and loss of special
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
. In my opinion, I think there are numerous similar
factories
and
items
in many
countries
that will provide a lot of benefits including more jobs,
convenience
Correct word choice
and convenience
show examples
for customers.
However
, they need to save the
environment
through using eco resources and
limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
show examples
carbon dioxide.
In Particular
, some
countries
need to manage the import of international
products
in order to focus on developing local
products
. In conclusion, in recent years globalization
is
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
very popular in many
nations
so it
leads
Wrong verb form
has led
show examples
to having the same stores and
items
. It has both drawbacks and benefits,
however
, the government needs to control import
products
in order for the unemployment rate to decrease
while
the quality of the
environment
can be increased.
Submitted by nguyenhoanganhquan918 on

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task achievement
While your essay covers both viewpoints comprehensively, you could develop your ideas a bit more deeply in certain parts, especially in the second body paragraph.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, as they help strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on some minor grammatical issues and improve the clarity of expression in certain areas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic range and ability.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which aids in maintaining a logical structure.
complete response
You have successfully addressed both viewpoints, providing a balanced discussion.
logical structure
Your arguments are generally coherent and your points are well-organized throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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