‏In some countries, university students live far away from home and in another city or country while studying. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In today's world, the debate surrounding education has become a central topic of public discourse. It is evident and noteworthy that university
students
living far away from
home
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
become a common phenomenon.
While
acknowledging its merits and drawbacks, I am more inclined
towads
Correct your spelling
toward
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
being positive. In support of its upsides, my stance is primarily shaped by its logical coherence that
students
foster economic growth by living far from
home
.
This
stance is firmly grounded in the belief that
students
need to spend more money and are more inclined to get a part-time job. A significant study from Hong Kong University confirmed that
students
who live far away from
home
receive more financial support than
students
who live close by,
further
reinforcing
this
view. It is
also
important to consider that they would become more independent, largely by doing laundry and paying
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their bills. In
this
way, they could cultivate more skills in order to adapt to society after graduation.
Therefore
, there are numerous compelling arguments supporting
this
issue.
On the other hand
, there are an array of demerits behind the phenomenon, including the
nostagia
Correct your spelling
nostalgia
, especially for those living in other countries. The basis of
this
view depends on the fact that people experience isolation and loneliness when they are alone in an unfamiliar environment.
However
, it is crucial to recognize that
this
kind of loneliness is fixable.
For example
, by making friends or having
home
-style cuisine.
For instance
, a recent government analysis showed that Chinese
students
who study abroad in Canada reported a higher rate of happiness than
students
in England, mainly
due to
the quality of Chinese restaurants. In conclusion, after thoroughly examining both sides, my conviction in the assertion that university
students
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
far away from
home
gain more pros than cons remains strong.
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task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are sufficiently developed and supported with clear examples. While you provided general support, adding more detailed examples could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to any small language inaccuracies. While they don’t significantly impact comprehension, refining these will make your essay even more polished.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of living far from home, then leans towards the positive. This shows thorough consideration of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs explaining both views, and a conclusion that reaffirms your stance. This logical flow enhances readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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