Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #celebrities #media

According to some

Change preposition

Some

show examples

individuals

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have the opinion that

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not to be carried away by

media

. In my viewpoint, I support the given

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

mainly because it can cause potential harm to

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and

also

raise privacy issues.

Firstly

media

should be setting boundaries

while

telecasting an

individuals

Change to a genitive case

individual's

show examples

personal

life

In other words

, spreading unnecessary rumours about an

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

show examples

life

can be harmful to their reputation and can cause a decline in the production industry

due to

real or unreal allegations.

Secondly

, by exposing news through different channels it can cause mental health problems to different

individuals

For example

, by posing

celebreties

Correct your spelling

celebrities

personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

sometimes they can be

harrased

Correct your spelling

harassed

or threatened at various levels causing

further

depression.

Moreover

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

benefitted

Correct your spelling

benefited

show examples

through

Change preposition

from

show examples

these activities as their view rate

gets

Verb problem

apply

show examples

ascended and

also

gets

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rise

Replace the word

rose

show examples

in their business field as common people are

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

to watch

Change preposition

in watching

show examples

such

kind of news. In conclusion, sharing

private

Correct article usage

the private

show examples

life

individual

Add an article

an individual

show examples

should not be the sole idea of

media

as it can really destroy an

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

show examples

life

Submitted by chirayilathirasunny on Tue Jun 25 2024

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grammar

Work on ensuring grammatical accuracy and reducing repetition to improve clarity.

example

Elaborate your examples more clearly to strengthen support for your main points.

cohesion

Aim to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs for improved cohesion.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a clear structure.

relevance

Main points are relevant to the topic, highlighting an understanding of the task.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

178 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

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