Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Linking Words
According to some
Change preposition
Some
individuals
, Use synonyms
they
have the opinion that Correct pronoun usage
apply
celebrities
personal Change noun form
celebrities'
celebrity's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
is
not to be carried away by Correct subject-verb agreement
are
media
. In my viewpoint, I support the given Use synonyms
statment
mainly because it can cause potential harm to Correct your spelling
statement
Use synonyms
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
Use synonyms
life
and Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
raise privacy issues.
Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
media
should be setting boundaries Use synonyms
while
telecasting an Linking Words
Use synonyms
individuals
personal Change to a genitive case
individual's
life
. Use synonyms
In other words
, spreading unnecessary rumours about an Linking Words
Use synonyms
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
life
can be harmful to their reputation and can cause a decline in the production industry Use synonyms
due to
real or unreal allegations. Linking Words
Secondly
, by exposing news through different channels it can cause mental health problems to different Linking Words
individuals
. Use synonyms
For example
, by posing Linking Words
celebreties
personal Correct your spelling
celebrities
Use synonyms
life
sometimes they can be Fix the agreement mistake
lives
harrased
or threatened at various levels causing Correct your spelling
harassed
further
depression. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
benefitted
Correct your spelling
benefited
through
these activities as their view rate Change preposition
from
gets
ascended and Verb problem
apply
also
Linking Words
gets
Verb problem
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
rise
in their business field as common people are Replace the word
rose
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
to watch
Change preposition
in watching
such
kind of news. In conclusion, sharing Linking Words
private
Correct article usage
the private
life
of Use synonyms
individual
should not be the sole idea of Add an article
an individual
media
as it can really destroy an Use synonyms
Use synonyms
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
life
.Use synonyms
Submitted by chirayilathirasunny on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on ensuring grammatical accuracy and reducing repetition to improve clarity.
example
Elaborate your examples more clearly to strengthen support for your main points.
cohesion
Aim to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs for improved cohesion.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a clear structure.
relevance
Main points are relevant to the topic, highlighting an understanding of the task.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion