Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #lives #celebrities #media

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

According to some

Change preposition

Some

show examples

individuals

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have the opinion that

celebrities

Change noun form

celebrities'

celebrity's

show examples

personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not to be carried away by

media

. In my viewpoint, I support the given

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

mainly because it can cause potential harm to

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and

also

raise privacy issues.

Firstly

media

should be setting boundaries

while

telecasting an

individuals

Change to a genitive case

individual's

show examples

personal

life

In other words

, spreading unnecessary rumours about an

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

show examples

life

can be harmful to their reputation and can cause a decline in the production industry

due to

real or unreal allegations.

Secondly

, by exposing news through different channels it can cause mental health problems to different

individuals

For example

, by posing

celebreties

Correct your spelling

celebrities

personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

sometimes they can be

harrased

Correct your spelling

harassed

or threatened at various levels causing

further

depression.

Moreover

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

benefitted

Correct your spelling

benefited

show examples

through

Change preposition

from

show examples

these activities as their view rate

gets

Verb problem

apply

show examples

ascended and

also

gets

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rise

Replace the word

rose

show examples

in their business field as common people are

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

to watch

Change preposition

in watching

show examples

such

kind of news. In conclusion, sharing

private

Correct article usage

the private

show examples

life

individual

Add an article

an individual

show examples

should not be the sole idea of

media

as it can really destroy an

individuals

Change noun form

individual's

show examples

life

Submitted by chirayilathirasunny on Tue Jun 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar

Work on ensuring grammatical accuracy and reducing repetition to improve clarity.

example

Elaborate your examples more clearly to strengthen support for your main points.

cohesion

Aim to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs for improved cohesion.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the essay a clear structure.

relevance

Main points are relevant to the topic, highlighting an understanding of the task.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

178 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Invasion of privacy
Media scrutiny
Public persona
Personal autonomy
Sensationalism
Paparazzi
Tabloid journalism
Right to privacy
Mental well-being
Public interest
Ethical journalism
Celebrity culture
Gossip columns

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Although intractable schoolchildren can be found in most educational settings, the behaviour of school pupils in many parts of the world has worsened in recent years. This state of affairs can be attributed to several factors and this essay will suggest several viable solutions to remedy the situation.
5.5
band
The best way to make road transport safe is to require drivers to take a driving test every year. How much do you agree or disagree?
There is an awesome way to make our roads transport highly secure and this is by requiring drivers to be tested on driving skills every year. I totally agree with this statement because there are many careless people causing silly accidents and there are many citizens who do not maintain enough skills to keep their driver license.
7.5
band
Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary era, global warming has emerged as a critical issue, particularly due to the emissions resulting from vehicles. There is a school of thought advocating for an increase in the cost of fossil fuels as the most effective strategy to mitigate this problem. I partly agree with this perspective and aim to delve deeper into the rationale behind it in this essay.
7
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, sya that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
A discourse about culture in schools has resulted in various responses, some people think it is fundamental to teach competitiveness. While others say they should be taught to cooperate and work in a team. From the deepest of my heart, my standpoint gravitates to the latter.
6
band
2.You recently discovered that there are plans to build a new airport in your area and you are not happy with it. Write a letter to the local authority. In your letter, oSay how you found out about the plans oExplain what problems your neighbourhood will face oSuggest some possible solutions to those problems.
I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with your plan which is to build a new airport in our neighborhood.

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

The best way to make road transport safe is to require drivers to take a driving test every year. How much do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, sya that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion