Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?
In my opinion, to agree or disagree with the allegation that Some people consider that there are various effects that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company
whereas
others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. is an important issue to discuss. First,
I will present some arguments supporting this
explanation, after which,
some aspects against that will be discussed.
On the one hand, many people agree with this
announcement for many important reasons. The most significant is that The reason why an individual would stay for a long period of life could be because of their family commitments. For example
, if a woman is married and has kids and also
already bought a house in a particular area might prefer to stay in the same job as long as possible because she needs a stable job to secure her family life. Not only that, for a woman, distance is very important because she might need to attend to her kids as soon as possible at any term of the day. The nearer the company is to her home, the more likely she will stick to that same working place
for a very long year.
Correct your spelling
workplace
On the other hand
, other people oppose this
explanation for many reasons. The most important is working for a Long past that effect
health and Correct your spelling
affects
considers
Wrong verb form
is considered
Correct word choice
fatiguing
fatigued
physically Wrong verb form
fatiguing
for example
if the same person works long
timeChange the article
a long
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
for example
starts in the morning and ends working in the evening the physical very tried .
In conclusion, it is not wrong to prioritize money to stay in a place but having good mental health and a good working environment is also
important.Submitted by MH
on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the introduction could be made more concise, and the overall coherence and cohesion could be improved. Consider introducing the main arguments more succinctly in the introduction.
task achievement
Some arguments are not fully developed, and there are some inaccuracies in language use that may confuse the reader. Adding more detailed examples and explanations would help to support your main points better.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structure, especially in the body paragraphs. Ensure that each argument flows logically from one to the next, and maintain clear and concise language.
coherence cohesion
Good effort in structuring the essay with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Use of specific examples, such as the example of the woman with family commitments, adds clarity to your points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.