IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to the government about the lack of sports facilities in your hometown for people of your age. In your letter,you should say: What facilities you want Why you want them What suggestions you can give

#government #lack #sports #facilities #hometown #people #age #suggestions
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to request
sport
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sports
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 facilities in my living area. I live
in
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on
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 Naibo
street
Capitalize word
Street
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 near
to
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apply
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the public hospital. I noticed that a lot of my friends are thinking about
lifitng
Correct your spelling
lifting
 weights in order to build and grow
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 body strength. Having a gym with complete
sport
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sports
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 areas is becoming an
essintial
Correct your spelling
essential
 part nowadays. Which allows everyone
obtain
Fix the infinitive
to obtain
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 a safe space to
pracitce
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
 different
kind
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kinds
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 of
workout
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workouts
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. For me, swimming is one of my
hoppies
Correct your spelling
hobbies
 but
unfortunaitly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
 I am unable to
pracitce
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
 and
to
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apply
show examples
develop my skills
due to
 the lack of
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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 gym in my place. What brings me to write
this
 letter, is to have a healthy
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for
younge
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young
 people.
And as
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As
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 one society
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member
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members
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members,
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 I am responsible
to increase
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for increasing
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 the awareness of physical activities for younger generations. I
suggests
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suggest
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to get
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getting
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use
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used
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 of the old parks that we have in Naibo
street
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Street
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,
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apply
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 and
to replace
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replacing
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 it with
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 gym. I am looking
forwad
Correct your spelling
forward
 to hearing from you, thank you for understanding. NOUF MUT, Best Regards,
Submitted by noufxmut on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This can help improve the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammar errors such as 'lifitng' for 'lifting,' 'thier' for 'their,' 'essintial' for 'essential,' 'pracitce' for 'practice,' 'hoppies' for 'hobbies,' 'unfortunaitly' for 'unfortunately,' 'enviroment' for 'environment,' 'younge' for 'young,' 'suggests' for 'suggest,' and 'forwad' for 'forward.'
coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-organized with clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose.
task achievement
You have maintained a polite and respectful tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for this type of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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