IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to the government about the lack of sports facilities in your hometown for people of your age. In your letter,you should say: What facilities you want Why you want them What suggestions you can give

#government #lack #sports #facilities #hometown #people #age #suggestions
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 facilities in my living area. I live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Naibo
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the public hospital. I noticed that a lot of my friends are thinking about
lifitng
Correct your spelling
lifting
 weights in order to build and grow
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 body strength. Having a gym with complete
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 areas is becoming an
essintial
Correct your spelling
essential
 part nowadays. Which allows everyone
obtain
Fix the infinitive
to obtain
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 a safe space to
pracitce
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
 different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
show examples
. For me, swimming is one of my
hoppies
Correct your spelling
hobbies
 but
unfortunaitly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
 I am unable to
pracitce
Correct your spelling
practice
practise
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
develop my skills
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 gym in my place. What brings me to write
this
Linking Words
 letter, is to have a healthy
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for
younge
Correct your spelling
young
 people.
And as
Correct word choice
As
show examples
 one society
Fix the agreement mistake
member
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members
Add a comma
members,
show examples
 I am responsible
to increase
Change preposition
for increasing
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 the awareness of physical activities for younger generations. I
suggests
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suggest
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to get
Change the verb form
getting
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use
Change the verb form
used
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 of the old parks that we have in Naibo
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
to replace
Change the verb form
replacing
show examples
 it with
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 gym. I am looking
forwad
Correct your spelling
forward
 to hearing from you, thank you for understanding. NOUF MUT, Best Regards,
Submitted by noufxmut on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points. This can help improve the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammar errors such as 'lifitng' for 'lifting,' 'thier' for 'their,' 'essintial' for 'essential,' 'pracitce' for 'practice,' 'hoppies' for 'hobbies,' 'unfortunaitly' for 'unfortunately,' 'enviroment' for 'environment,' 'younge' for 'young,' 'suggests' for 'suggest,' and 'forwad' for 'forward.'
coherence cohesion
Your letter is well-organized with clear paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose.
task achievement
You have maintained a polite and respectful tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for this type of correspondence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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