It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#member #peace #technology #people #breakdown #relationship #communication

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There is no doubt that these days it's more than likely for all the family including kids to own their personal technological device,

However

, some people believe that

this

will result in a lack of communication. In

this

essay. I'm going to discuss

this

situation and give my opinion on it. In terms of giving

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electronic

peaces

Correct your spelling

pieces

show examples

of new technology to young children, it is completely wrong, because letting children

used to

Verb problem

apply

show examples

watch TV or

IPad

Correct your spelling

iPad

show examples

all the time will create their own virtual

world

and not realize the real

world

this

will lead to a weak

relationship

and communication with his

parents

, to illustrate, he will waste the main hours of the day on his virtual

world

and not talking to his

parents

, In order to avoid

this

parents

should not give them electronic devices at an early age and let him realize what the real

world

is. In

this

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

the

relationship

between

parents

and their children will remain strong.

However

, other people think that devices won't

breakdown

Correct your spelling

break down

show examples

the

relationship

of members of the family,

firstly

, technological devices

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not the weapon that breaks the

relationship

, the thing that contributes to the breakdown is the content inside the phone,

such

as social media, video games etc.

This

makes the child

addicted

Rephrase

so addicted

show examples

to his phone that he couldn't survive one day without

his

Change the word

the

show examples

phone. In conclusion,

parents

should be aware of the consequences of allowing their kids to use social media or video games, which has a good chance to result

Change preposition

show examples

a lack of communication,

therefore

, I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

statement.

Submitted by yazanalt523 on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

Work on providing more structured arguments and avoid ambiguity in statements. Some points are mentioned briefly without full development.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Improving these areas will increase clarity and coherence.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your essay.

task achievement

You've addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a breakdown in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Poverty is a problem that affects the majority of children these days. Discuss the effects of poverty on society and suggest some solutions to this problem.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children show less respect to elders. What are the causes of such behavior? What can be done to address this situation?

Some people think that, robots will replace teachers in the class room. Do you agree or disagree?