In many countries, people are now living longer than sʼever before. Some people think the are benifits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the adventages of having an ageing population outweigh the adventages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, the elderly

Use synonyms

people'

Change noun form

people

show examples

the birth rate are increasing as borning is decreasing in many

counter

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

countries.

Although

Linking Words

there are several advantages

Change preposition

show examples

old

people

Use synonyms

, living longer

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can have some disadvantages as well. I would argue that

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

sides of

this

Linking Words

can outweigh the negatives. On the one hand, there are several benefits of

ageing

Add an article

the ageing

an ageing

show examples

population

Use synonyms

. The first merit of it is considered to be that an example to their grandchildren.

For instance

Linking Words

, old

people

Use synonyms

can take care of their grandchildren when

children'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

parents are at work or parents are not home. Another positive aspect is thought to be that elderly

people

Use synonyms

advice

Replace the word

advise

show examples

useful decisions and

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

for young

people

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

because they are experienced more than young

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite

mentioned

Correct article usage

the mentioned

show examples

positives ageing

population

Use synonyms

might harm

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

governments. Because they often become ill and create problems with money. One of the major disadvantages of it is that old

people

Use synonyms

may serious reason for expenditure

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

budget.

For example

Linking Words

, in old age become various and

serious

Change the word

seriously

show examples

ill after that their children should take care of their parents.

Besides

Linking Words

that on ageing

population

Use synonyms

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

a disease of Old age and because of

this

Linking Words

will be expanded much money. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

ageing

Correct article usage

the ageing

show examples

population

Use synonyms

can offer several positives, there may be some drawbacks too. From my personal point of view,

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

this

Linking Words

will outweigh the disadvantages.

soglomovsarvarWed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response

Your introduction provides a general idea but could be more precise and concise. Try to clearly state the topic and your viewpoint within the first few sentences.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your points logically follow from one another. Sometimes your ideas seem disconnected.

Task Response

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of saying 'old people may serious reason for expenditure family budget,' you could specify what kinds of expenses these might be.

Task Response

You have mentioned both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that the media should not publicly share the private lives of celebrities. Nowadays, there are many fans that really want to know what they do outside their job as a celebrity, how their relationship with their family, what they do from morning until midnight, etc. Concisely, there is no safe spaces for celebrities anymore. Personally, I agree with this opinion. Because as a basic manner, a celebrity has their own privacy and the media must appreciate it.
7
band
The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a statement that the only method of improving road safety is to implement harsh punishments for driving violations. Personally, this method can be effective to some extent but I believe that there are still more possible solutions.
<4
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opnion
Many individuals believe that to permit youngsters to do their own decision on daily matters is likely to result in a community of people who only think about their own wishes. Other in opinion that it is essential for children to make verdicts about things that affect them. This paper will express my viewpoint about the statement ,considering both sides of judgment.
5.5
band
Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Evaluation the best way to succeed is challenging,however, attending a college or university is an option for getting knowledge and experience at the same time ,in consequence,students would prefer to be an impressive member of their community ,but, there is an alternative road that deviates from old one and some follower of this way has been proposed for being a successful person ,an individual does not need to attend in academic places , however, I completely disagree with this status, and I will give my reasons.
4.5
band
In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not be allowed to be out fo doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?
There is no denying the fact that establishing rules to protect children are curical. While is is a commonly held belief that we must prohibit under 18 to go out after midnight, there is also an argument that opposes. In my opinion, I consider that leave kids without souperveion can have serious consequences.

In many countries, people are now living longer than sʼever before. Some people think the are benifits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the adventages of having an ageing population outweigh the adventages?

Your opinion

Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not be allowed to be out fo doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?