In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #surveillance

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no doubt that the number of video cameras in public places has increased in recent years.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

and benefits of the phenomenon and will show why I support the modern practice.

To begin

Linking Words

with

Add a comma

with,

show examples

the disadvantage of CCTV is that it exerts psychological pressure.

This

Linking Words

is because some individuals

afraid

Add a missing verb

are afraid

show examples

of being under CCTV; that increases the level of anxiety and may lead to mental

deseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

For instance

Linking Words

, some people are affected by the theory of worldwide conspiracy, having a fear of being recorded. So,

appearance

Add an article

the appearance

show examples

of mental issues may be caused by video cameras. The second drawback is that recording violates human rights. It is hard to deny that every

entertament

Correct your spelling

entertainment

centre,

restorant

Correct your spelling

restaurant

restaurants

, and cafe

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

cameras which record customers.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

tapes could be used against individuals; intelligence services may

wach

Correct your spelling

watch

them and form files for every person.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, as for

advantage

Add an article

the advantage

show examples

of the

survailance

Correct your spelling

surveillance

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

preventing crimes and the rising crime detection rate could be considered.

Firstly

Linking Words

, criminals know that tape will show their identity and avoid

to make

Change the verb form

making

show examples

prohibitate

Correct your spelling

prohibited

actions.

For example

Linking Words

, in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

downtown

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Astana, the city where I

base

Wrong verb form

am based

show examples

, the number of crimes on streets plummed in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

light of

appearance

Add an article

the appearance

show examples

of CCTV.

In contrast

Linking Words

, if they

Change the verb form

are

show examples

shure

Correct your spelling

sure

that nobody

recognize

Change the verb form

recognizes

show examples

them, those individuals will commit more breaking law activities.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the crime detection rate has soared in recent years because investigators can recognize faces and find robbers or

thiefs

Correct your spelling

thieves

show examples

. Alternatively, we can back to the past, where predators could avoid

panishment

Correct your spelling

punishment

. In conclusion, I consider that

upsides

Correct article usage

the upsides

show examples

of the

penomenon

Correct your spelling

phenomenon

such

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

creating situations when crimes could not be done outweigh the the violation of rights and the possible

psycological

Correct your spelling

psychological

pressure.

Submitted by sergeybelov83 on Wed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the overall logical flow between your main points. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your argument. This will strengthen the points you are making.

language

Be cautious with grammar and spelling errors. Proofreading your essay for any inconsistencies will improve clarity and readability.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.

task achievement

You address both the advantages and disadvantages of video surveillance comprehensively, showing a balanced view.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

video surveillance
crime deterrent
law enforcement
privacy infringement
public safety
evidence
surveillance abuse
secure environment
citizen oversight
data misuse
budget constraints
false sense of security

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job You should write at least 150 words.
I hope this letter finds you well.I have been busy with my studies as you know that I am planning to visit Australia for my Masters and the same time I am really excited to see you too.
6
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaivour to children?
There is an argument about the necessity of punishing the kids to learn the comparison between right and wrong at their first age. More or less, I agree with this issue but maybe it really depends on the situation. In other words, the intensity of punishing is crucial.
7.5
band
Now a days many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self employment
These days, many folks choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a firm or an organization. while it is a commonly held belief that People choose to work for themselves. There is an argument that opposes it. In my opinion. I consider that working for yourself is better but sometimes it could be disturbing due to many reasons such as finding the best niche for you to work on.
5.5
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapaers or books because they will be to read everything they want online without paying. to what do you extent agree or disagree with this statment ?
In the upcoming years, the possibility of reading everything for free through online platforms may cause the lack of purchase in printed newspapers and books. It may be possible due to the lower price offered by electronic books, also known as e-books. However, some readers are still more comfortable in using paper-based books. I personally agree with the latter statement because human habit in using printed literatures is hard to change.
5.5
band
It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the Contemporary era, the density of the population in the city areas are rising at an alarming rate, due to the abundance of ample facilities. So, it is commonly believed that constructing novel areas like open gardens and play fields are beneficial for a city. As it has direct influences on the environment, as well as human behaviour.I totally agree with the above notion and my stance in relevant to it will be discussed in the following paragraphs

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

Now a days many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or an organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self employment

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapaers or books because they will be to read everything they want online without paying. to what do you extent agree or disagree with this statment ?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?