In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no doubt that the number of video cameras in public places has increased in recent years.
This
essay will explain
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
show examples
and benefits of the phenomenon and will show why I support the modern practice.
To begin
with
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with,
show examples
the disadvantage of CCTV is that it exerts psychological pressure.
This
is because some individuals
afraid
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are afraid
show examples
of being under CCTV; that increases the level of anxiety and may lead to mental
deseases
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diseases
.
For instance
, some people are affected by the theory of worldwide conspiracy, having a fear of being recorded. So,
appearance
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the appearance
show examples
of mental issues may be caused by video cameras. The second drawback is that recording violates human rights. It is hard to deny that every
entertament
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entertainment
centre,
restorant
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restaurant
restaurants
, and cafe
have
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has
show examples
cameras which record customers.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
tapes could be used against individuals; intelligence services may
wach
Correct your spelling
watch
them and form files for every person.
On the other hand
, as for
advantage
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the advantage
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of the
survailance
Correct your spelling
surveillance
,
the
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apply
show examples
preventing crimes and the rising crime detection rate could be considered.
Firstly
, criminals know that tape will show their identity and avoid
to make
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making
show examples
prohibitate
Correct your spelling
prohibited
actions.
For example
, in
the
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apply
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downtown
of
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apply
show examples
Astana, the city where I
base
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am based
show examples
, the number of crimes on streets plummed in
a
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apply
show examples
light of
appearance
Add an article
the appearance
show examples
of CCTV.
In contrast
, if they
be
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are
show examples
shure
Correct your spelling
sure
that nobody
recognize
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recognizes
show examples
them, those individuals will commit more breaking law activities.
Secondly
, the crime detection rate has soared in recent years because investigators can recognize faces and find robbers or
thiefs
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thieves
show examples
. Alternatively, we can back to the past, where predators could avoid
panishment
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punishment
. In conclusion, I consider that
upsides
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the upsides
show examples
of the
penomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
such
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
creating situations when crimes could not be done outweigh the the violation of rights and the possible
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
pressure.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the overall logical flow between your main points. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your argument. This will strengthen the points you are making.
language
Be cautious with grammar and spelling errors. Proofreading your essay for any inconsistencies will improve clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
You address both the advantages and disadvantages of video surveillance comprehensively, showing a balanced view.
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