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Band 6

Some think that ambition is a good quality. Is it important to be ambitious? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

#think #ambition #quality
It is argued that
ambition
 is a crucial human trait that provides us
many
Change preposition
with many
show examples
 advantages. Personally, I agree that
ambition
 is a positive characteristic;
however
, it can be a problem when we are too ambitious in
life
. On the one hand, I agree that
ambition
 is an exceptional quality of human beings. An ambitious individual can have great motivation and clear purposes in
life
, making them lifelong learners who always strive for personal development and meaningful innovation for society. Airplanes,
for example
, are a disrupting invention of ambitious minds; and they have created
such
 a powerful impact on our lives, allowing us to travel around the world.
In contrast
, without
ambition
, we may fall into a comfort trap, gradually losing the
meanings
Fix the agreement mistake
meaning
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 and joys in
life
 since we are deprived of challenges to strive for.
As a result
, we can not maintain our healthy habits or even build some unhealthy ones because we are playing an easy game, and we just live day by day without making any positive influence on society.
On the other hand
, being too obsessed with success and accomplishments may bring us some disadvantages.
Firstly
, we can suffer from
chronical
Correct your spelling
chronic
 stress, which leads to some mental and physical health.
For instance
, it is scientifically
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 that stress is associated with sleep loss, emotional eating, diabetes, etc.
Secondly
, constantly pursuing our goals can make us
overshadowed
Wrong verb form
overshadow
show examples
 present happiness,
such
 as our current job, our beloved family, our supportive friends, etc.
Consequently
, we may never truly know how to embrace and treasure simple joy in
life
. In conclusion,
ambition
 is a great characteristic that benefits us in many ways;
however
, proper goals and contentment are
also
 crucial elements that ensure
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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have a balanced and enjoyable
life
.
Submitted by rosie.maianh on

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grammar
Be cautious about small grammatical errors, such as 'chronical stress' which should be 'chronic stress.' These minor mistakes can slightly detract from the clarity of your essay.
content
Consider adding a few more varied examples to further illustrate your points. Although the example of airplanes is relevant, including different types of examples can strengthen your argument.
structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs that adequately support your main points, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your argument.
task response
You have successfully addressed all parts of the question, discussing both the positive aspects of ambition and the potential drawbacks of being overly ambitious.
language use
Your essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, and the ideas flow smoothly from one point to the next without confusing the reader.
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