Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and with relevant evidence.
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As the
world
as life, have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
two-faces
. On Correct your spelling
two faces
one
hand, there is the white color
, which could correspond to the richness part, where the wealthy nations are. Change the spelling
colour
On the other hand
, the poorness one
. However
, we are not aware of the colors
Change the spelling
colours
Correct pronoun usage
that exist
exist
between both, as a grey. The Correct pronoun usage
that exist
world
is getting use
to loose the grey scale.
Everything is connected with Change the form of the verb
used
economical
resources, and they are directly associated with Replace the word
economic
others
necessities, Correct quantifier usage
other
such
as food and education. A country with no
enough resources is unable to develop the Correct your spelling
not
essential
for its population.
Fix the agreement mistake
essentials
However
, who is the
Correct article usage
apply
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
to
Change preposition
for
assistance
the others? Is Replace the word
assisting
the
Correct pronoun usage
it the
responsability
of the Governments or Correct your spelling
responsibility
people
? Or perhaps, should the poorer Correct article usage
the people
natios
require aid? Correct your spelling
nations
nation
Nonetheless
, are they trully
being listenedCorrect your spelling
truly
?
The question that matters is what we should do to recover the grey scale. Because it Change preposition
to?
is
not only Verb problem
depends
depend
on Verb problem
apply
one
side,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
the
other side.
Personally, I believe the Change preposition
on the
world
is getting discompensaded
. Even thoughCorrect your spelling
decompensated
,
Remove the comma
apply
richless
countries Correct your spelling
rich
are requiring
more help, wealthy nations are focused on Wrong verb form
require
itselves
. The Governments Correct your spelling
themselves
from
Change preposition
of
these
Change the determiner
this one
these ones
one
might not are
interested Wrong verb form
be
to
Change the preposition
in
shared
their wealth and prefer to keep Change the verb
share
a
unequal place for everyone.
Change the article
an
First
solution to fix Add an article
The first
this
trouble might be if we, the citizens, cooperate with sort of aids
, Fix the agreement mistake
aid
such
providing
food and Change preposition
as providing
transfering
financial amounts to specialized associations for that. Achieving an equal place to live is an Correct your spelling
transferring
utopy
, Correct your spelling
utopia
autopsy
however
if at least we try, we might be closer to Add the comma(s)
however,
provide
a better and safer Wrong verb form
providing
world
for everyone.Submitted by lydiagarcia.gr on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a perspective, but there are areas for improvement. To improve task response, include more specific examples and clearer ideas. For instance, mention specific wealthy nations and their current aid contributions or lack thereof, and provide examples of countries that have benefited from such aid.
coherence cohesion
The essay could improve in logical structure by organizing ideas more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. It can be helpful to use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and to connect ideas with smooth transitions.
supported main points
Work on providing more support for your main points. This can be achieved by elaborating further on your arguments. For example, whether wealthy nations should aid poorer nations can be supported with statistics or historical data.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay presents an interesting analogy with the 'grey scale' to describe the disparity between wealth and poverty. This adds a unique, creative touch to your writing.
complete response
Your writing shows a compassionate and empathetic approach to global inequality, which adds strength to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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