Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

#topic #parents #children #toys #play\

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Toys

have always become a source of entertainment for

children

Therefore

parents

love to buy gifts and

toys

for their

children

even though, in some cases,

parents

buy

toys

excessively.

While

some people think

this

is beneficial, I think there are

also

some drawbacks for some reasons that are set out below. Nowadays, gifts are given to

children

as a symbol of a reward and most of the gifts include

toys

. Sometimes,

parents

give their

children

too many

toys

to play with. Despite

parents

having to spend more money

for

Change preposition

show examples

toys

children

have a variety of choices to choose the form of entertainment for themselves

as well as

educating them.

For example

toys

such

as puzzles and crafting legos can help develop their motoric skills and enhance their creativity. Even though many

toys

give many choices for the

children

to pick, these habits can decrease their sense of appreciation. When they get too many

toys

, they tend to get bored easily from one toy to another.

As a result

, they will not learn how to show care and appreciation for materialistic things because they know that whenever they get bored, their

parents

will buy them more

toys

to play with.

Moreover

this

type of parenting can increase the possibility of raising a spoiled child

due to

giving many rewards and

toys

To conclude

although

providing many

children

with

toys

seems to be good, I believe that it is better to limit their

toys

to teach them how to appreciate

toys

Submitted by kelly on Wed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of giving children many toys, you could elaborate further on each point to provide more depth. For example, mention how children might develop better sharing skills or teamwork when they have multiple toys to play with others.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more linking phrases to make the transitions between ideas clearer. For example, when introducing disadvantages, you might start with 'On the other hand,' or 'However,'.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing the discussion.

task achievement

You've provided a thoughtful analysis of both the positive and negative aspects of giving children many toys, showing a balanced perspective.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with different paragraphs clearly dedicated to different points. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

enhanced creativity
motor skill development
educational benefits
social skills
overstimulation
cognitive abilities
fine motor skills
gross motor skills
sharing and cooperation
shorter attention spans
lack of value
gratitude and appreciation
environmental impact
non-recyclable materials
materialistic values
sense of entitlement

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Biology is one of the most important areas of science due to its direct relationship to survival and health. Observing the rapid advances made, it has been suggested that it is presently the optimum time to be alive. I strongly agree with this affirmation for two reasons, firstly lives have been improved, and secondly risks have been reduced.
8
band
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
While potent interpersonal skills are utterly important in the workplace, disagreeing with the statement that they entirely outweigh academic achievement is essential. It is my contention that a blended approach encompassing both academic background and soft skills should be pursued by individuals in order for them to be successful.
4.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?
Although modern society requires human to become extremely busy, people are still fascinated with their houses, especially if the houses have a rich cultural history. Discoveries about our home rich background lead to a deeper connection with the location we live in, generating mental health benefits. This task has been made very easy with the arrival of the Internet.
4.5
band
Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Certain groups believe residing in metropolitan is awful for their well-being. Personally, I strongly agree with this theory because living in big cities has negative impacts on both physical and mental health.
6
band
Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by some people that the governments should not spend money on arts such as painting and music and it is better if they use money on something useful that will improve the quality of people's lives. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this notion and reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.

Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Advances in health and biology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reason for this? How can people research this?

Write about the following topic. Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?