Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

#topic #parents #children #toys #play\

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Toys

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have always become a source of entertainment for

children

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Therefore

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parents

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love to buy gifts and

toys

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for their

children

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even though, in some cases,

parents

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buy

toys

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excessively.

While

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some people think

this

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is beneficial, I think there are

also

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some drawbacks for some reasons that are set out below. Nowadays, gifts are given to

children

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as a symbol of a reward and most of the gifts include

toys

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. Sometimes,

parents

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give their

children

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too many

toys

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to play with. Despite

parents

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having to spend more money

for

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show examples

toys

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children

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have a variety of choices to choose the form of entertainment for themselves

as well as

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educating them.

For example

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toys

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such

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as puzzles and crafting legos can help develop their motoric skills and enhance their creativity. Even though many

toys

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give many choices for the

children

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to pick, these habits can decrease their sense of appreciation. When they get too many

toys

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, they tend to get bored easily from one toy to another.

As a result

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, they will not learn how to show care and appreciation for materialistic things because they know that whenever they get bored, their

parents

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will buy them more

toys

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to play with.

Moreover

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this

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type of parenting can increase the possibility of raising a spoiled child

due to

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giving many rewards and

toys

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To conclude

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although

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providing many

children

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with

toys

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seems to be good, I believe that it is better to limit their

toys

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to teach them how to appreciate

toys

Use synonyms

Submitted by kelly on Wed Jun 26 2024

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task achievement

While the essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of giving children many toys, you could elaborate further on each point to provide more depth. For example, mention how children might develop better sharing skills or teamwork when they have multiple toys to play with others.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more linking phrases to make the transitions between ideas clearer. For example, when introducing disadvantages, you might start with 'On the other hand,' or 'However,'.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, nicely framing the discussion.

task achievement

You've provided a thoughtful analysis of both the positive and negative aspects of giving children many toys, showing a balanced perspective.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is well-organized, with different paragraphs clearly dedicated to different points. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

enhanced creativity
motor skill development
educational benefits
social skills
overstimulation
cognitive abilities
fine motor skills
gross motor skills
sharing and cooperation
shorter attention spans
lack of value
gratitude and appreciation
environmental impact
non-recyclable materials
materialistic values
sense of entitlement

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Topic: some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their education as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solution could you suggest?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You recently stayed at your friend's place, to look after the house while he/she is away. You accidentally damaged something in his/her house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: describe what the accident was explain when it happened suggest how the damage can be fixed.