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Band 2

the natyral procees illustrate biofuel making. summaruse the data

#procees #biofuel #summaruse #data
The diagram
illustrate
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illustrates
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 the process of manufacturing a biofuel
that is
 known as ethanol .
Overall
, the process
include
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includes
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 9 steps beginning with plants growing and ending with applying
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
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 fuel for various transports.
To begin
 with, trees are grown in natural environments by taking energy from sunlight and carbon dioxide that
contained
Add a missing verb
is contained
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 in the air.
Then
, after cutting down the trees are harvested and go through
pre-processing
Correct article usage
a pre-processing
show examples
 step where they
milled
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are milled
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 to make cellulose.
On
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In
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 the sixth part,
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 delivered into a laboratory where
after
Correct word choice
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 go through several chemical processes.
After
this
 sugar and microbes are added into the liquid in order to make the ethanol. The
last
 step is to deliver it
into
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to
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station
Add an article
the station
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 to use as hurling for public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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. In summary
The
Correct article usage
apply
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public transports emit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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carbon dioxide which
Add a missing verb
is
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used as energy for trees
in
Change preposition
apply
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a natural prices which
known
Add a missing verb
is known
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 as biofuel production.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay begins well with an introduction that mentions the main topic of the diagram. However, there are a few inaccuracies and missing details in the description of the process. For instance, more clarity on what happens during the chemical processes and the role of the microbes would enhance the understanding. Also, the order in which some steps are described is a bit confusing; it would be better to align them more closely with the chronological order shown in the diagram.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each part of the process logically follows from the previous one. Be cautious about consistency in verb tenses and make sure that cause and effect are clearly explained—such as the sequence from sunlight absorption to biofuel usage. Also, emphasizing the cyclical nature of biofuel production would strengthen the essay's logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay does a good job of summarizing the overall process and provides a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your use of linking words like 'overall,' 'to begin with,' and 'after this' helps guide the reader through the steps of the process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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