IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many scientists believe that seeking out life by sending messages into space is a good idea while others feel that it is dangerous. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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A number of
scientists
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 think that sending
messages
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 to planets in order to search
aliveness
Change preposition
for aliveness
show examples
 is preferable,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it is threatening. Sending
messages
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 could be useful for
translation
Replace the word
translating
show examples
 non-human language, but it would contribute to the start of the
war
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 between planets if there were some
misuderstandings
Correct your spelling
misunderstandings
misunderstanding
 between people and aliens. On the one hand, sending
messages
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 could allow
scientists
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 to translate
interplanetal
Correct your spelling
interplanetary
 language, which may bring
to
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apply
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friendship
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a friendship
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.
That is
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 to say, they can search for specific language if someone would reply to them.
This
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 would boost science if people would have got it. To illustrate, in
science
Correct article usage
a science
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 fiction film called 3 Body
Problem
Fix the agreement mistake
Problems
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, a scientist
sent
Wrong verb form
sends
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message
Add an article
a message
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 to other planets.
As a result
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, she got
a new information
Remove the article
new information
a piece of new information
show examples
 about
alivesness
Correct your spelling
aliveness
 and it contributed to the development of astronomy.
However
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, the responder wrote that people should avoid sending
messages
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 because
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alliens
Correct your spelling
aliens
 might not understand and think that the message is the treaty of
war
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there would be misunderstanding among
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alliens
Correct your spelling
aliens
allies
.
This
Linking Words
 is because they can not understand fully the message and think that it is the danger caused by other creatures.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
alliens
Correct your spelling
aliens
 might search for
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 from where it was sent and start to prepare for
war
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 . In most films, dedicated to science fiction, there were demonstrations of scared
Use synonyms
alliens
Correct your spelling
aliens
 and preparing for
war
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.
That is
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 why, I think
scientists
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 should leave it as it may
lea
Correct your spelling
lead
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 to catastrophic
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
. In conclusion, transmitting
messages
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 would be helpful in translation if
scientists
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 considered all aspects and were careful in each detail of their
messages
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.

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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly expressed without ambiguity, and check for tense and grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow and clear structure throughout the essay. Use more cohesive devices and transitions to create clear links between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of the main points you will cover, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to ensure that your writing is easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have included an example to illustrate your point, which helps to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear attempt to structure the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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