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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The unlimited use of c ars many cause problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give areason for your answer and include any revelant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#c #ars #people #cars #areason #revelant
The excessive use of
vehicles
 may lead to negative impacts.
This
 includes
,
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apply
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air
 pollution and too much
traffic
. Humankind should be advised on alternative
source
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sources
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 of transport. First of all, the more
the
Correct article usage
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cars are used, the more the environment is polluted. They produce too much noise when they are hooting
as well as
 produce
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 smell to the
air
 which is harmful to the community.
For instance
, a study done by
the
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apply
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students
in
Change preposition
at
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 Cambridge University on the causes of pollution
,
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 showed that
vehicles
 contributed to almost 50
percent
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per cent
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 of all
the the
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apply
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air
 pollutants.
This
 shows that excessive usage of
vehicles
 mainly by private users has greatly influenced them to have undesirable effects
to
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on
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 the environment.
Nonetheless
, especially in urban areas high usage of
vehicles
 has led to increased cases of
traffic
 especially in the morning,
lunch
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at lunch
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 hour and
at
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in
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 the evening.
This
 is because most of
working
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the working
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 stations open and close mainly
the
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at the
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 same time
therefore
large
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a large
the large
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 number of workers will be either
be
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going to work, to have lunch or
be
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going home and
this
 will cause
jam
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jams
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 on the roads.
For example
, for the past five
years
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years,
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 London has experienced high
traffic
due to
increased
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the increased
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 number of
vehicles
that
is
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are
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 caused by their affordability. Around 95
percent
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per cent
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 of residents in London own a car and
this
 makes the roads to be full throughout the day. In conclusion, I believe that
due to
 the fact that
vehicles
 cause high
traffic
 and pollute the
air
, people should be discouraged from using them and use alternate methods like a train to move from one place to the other and encourage
use
Add an article
the use
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 of public
vehicles
 as well in order to carb the negative effects.
Submitted by janenjeru6 on

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more detailed explanations and examples to better support your arguments. Try to provide more specific instances or statistical data where applicable.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and variety. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to read.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in presenting and summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt adequately, discussing both the problems caused by excessive car use and potential solutions.
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