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Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
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The provided bar graph illustrates some data related to the spending on goods in the UK and France within a time span of one year (2010). Five various goods are being compared.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a glance at the graph reveals that most of the expenses were connected with
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the least costs were related to perfume in both countries. Now, turning to the details, with regards to France, the maximum amount of money, 400,000, reflected
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the minimum expenditure, 150,000, applied to cameras. An approximately equal amount of money was spent on
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and computers (400,000 and roughly 370,000 respectively). Only 150,000 pounds were spent on cameras in 2010 in France.
According to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the data, in the UK most of the costs were associated with
cars
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 (450,000),
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the least expenses were related to perfume (about 140,000). It is interesting to note that people in the UK invested money in books (approximately 400,000).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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