IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays genetically modified food is widespread all over the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of GM food.

#food #world #gm
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In
this
 current situation, genetically changed
food
 spreads around the world.
This
 statement will discuss the merits and demerits of
this
.
Initially
,
food
 production has started to decline at the present ambience. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 plantations are reduced and farmers counting
also
 going down daily.
Due to
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals are not interested
to
Change the preposition
in
show examples
farming
Add an article
the farming
a farming
show examples
 business.
Hence
, all country governments
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 decided to plant
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genetically changed
vegetables
 for cultivation.
However
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
vegetables
 can grow in any kind of
soils
Fix the agreement mistake
soil
show examples
 and water
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 not required
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
.
Moreover
, these
food
 ingredients will be grown in
shorter
Add an article
a shorter
show examples
 period of time.
In other words
,
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
 will get more
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
 from these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
genetically
Change preposition
of genetically
show examples
 (D.N.A) changed seeds. They can irrigate with
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 quantity of fertilizers and
limited
Correct article usage
a limited
show examples
 size
land
Change preposition
of land
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 required for cultivation.
Additionally
, peasants are not required to anticipate monsoon periods, because some
Change preposition
of it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
fails
Correct subject-verb agreement
fail
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 to occur.
Hence
, genetically changed fruits and
vegetables
 can
stable
Add a missing verb
be stable
show examples
 in all seasons.
Furthermore
,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of foods which
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 changed their D.N.A structure brings some serious drawbacks for human organs.
In other words
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
foods
Change preposition
of foods
show examples
 will
possible
Change the word
possibly
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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affect human health
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
 onwards. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these genetically changed
vegetables
 and fruits are fostered abnormally and that not
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 enough protein and calcium same
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
 normal products.
Thus
, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of foods will not give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
successive health and hygiene for
human
Add an article
the human
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 body. To illustrate, China has planted a lot of genetically changed garlic and
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 size is bigger than the normal one.
Additionally
,
this
type
garlic
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of garlic
show examples
 will create acidity and indigestion problems for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
To conclude
, genetically changed
food
 has prevailed entire world at present.
Due to
 population increase and
food
scarcity
Add a comma
scarcity,
show examples
 these
type
idea
Change preposition
of idea
show examples
 is inevitable. Simultaneously, authorities should scrutinize before
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
massive production.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
For a higher score, work on organizing your ideas more logically. Your points and examples should flow naturally from one to another. Adding clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs can help.
task achievement
Try to expand on and clarify your ideas more. Sometimes your arguments and examples aren't fully developed or specific enough. For instance, elaborate more on how GM foods affect health and give more detailed examples.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to provide more variety in your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and show off your language skills.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand the scope of your essay.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of both the advantages and disadvantages of genetically modified food.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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