The increasing in people's life expectancy means that they have to work deal old days to play pay for the retirement one alternative is that people start to work at younger is this alternative opposite or negative development
Due to
a long life
span, many people
are being force
to work past retirement Change the verb form
are being forced
are forcing
age
.So, some people
consider joining the workforce from a younger age
is
a solution. I believe it is not only beneficial for Correct your spelling
as
people
but also
for the
society.
From the individual Correct article usage
apply
perspective
the advantage of starting work at Add a comma
perspective,
younger
Add an article
a younger
age
is that people
can save more money and thus
have financial security in the leters stays
of Verb problem
apply
life
.This
ensure
that they are not obligated to work during Change the verb form
ensures
older
Correct word choice
old
age
when must
Correct your spelling
most
people
are already suffering from health ailments.Secondly
young Add a comma
Secondly,
people
have fewer financial and family obligations then
older workers, and Correct your spelling
than
thus
able to prioritize their careers. For example
, they might be able to move from one City
to another for promotion, Fix capitalization
city
while
it might be quite challenging for the employees with a family. As a result
, they are able to climb the career
ladder faster leading to a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a significant higher pay package
significant higher pay packages
significant
higher pay packages by the Change the adjective
significantly
time
they retire.
In addition
,starting a career
early,
means that Remove the comma
apply
people
have option
to switch careers in later stages of Change the article
the option
life
, as they would be still comparatively younger. This
might not be possible past a certain age
in life
. Finally
companies are Add a comma
Finally,
also
willing to train and invest in your employees who are likely to stay with them for a longer time
as compared to the older ones.In other words
, people
have chance
of securing Add an article
a chance
the chance
job
early in Correct article usage
a job
the
Correct article usage
apply
life
.
The main advantage from societal
Correct article usage
a societal
prospective
is that Correct your spelling
perspective
general
younger employees are fitter and Change the word
generally
productive
as compared to Correct quantifier usage
more productive
the
older counterparts. Change the word
their
Moreover
starting the
Correct article usage
a
career
early means people
are established by the time
, your family and first year able to deboat
more Correct your spelling
de boat
debloat
time
to the children's upbringing..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
This
can in part address the
Correct article usage
apply
issue
like smoking drinking and drug abuse in teenagers and Fix the agreement mistake
issues
also
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
juvenil
delinquency.
In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that starting a Correct your spelling
juvenile
career
early is certainly a better alternative to working older it would be advantages
both for the Replace the word
advantageous
people
and society as well.Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the prompt, working on grammar and spelling accuracy will improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing transitions between paragraphs and ideas will improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Consider providing more concrete examples to support your points, which will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both individual and societal perspectives, giving a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, outlining the main points effectively.
Your opinion
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