IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The large number of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation systems in order to help solve this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In nowdays
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Nowdays
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,
while
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cars
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 have become an essential tool for
transportaion
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transportation
, the number of
cars
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 on the roads has been increasing constantly, which has generated more
car
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 emissions and worsened global warming. Some insist that governments should allocate more budget
into
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to
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 public
transportation
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systems
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,
whereas
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 others complain that the growth of alternative
cars
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such
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 as electric
cars
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 is more beneficial than the development of public
transportation
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systems
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. In my opinion, both upgrades are crucial to solve the problem. On the one hand, the total number of
cars
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 used is associated with the size of
population
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the population
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. In fact, urban cities have more
cars
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 than rural areas, which leads to constant traffic congestion in metropolises.
Therefore
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, reducing traffic jams in big cities requires the improvement of public
transportation
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systems
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 for less pollution.
For instance
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, the government in BC, Canada has introduced two-story buses to expand the capacity of passengers.
On the other hand
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, normal
cars
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, which run on petrol or diesel gases, accounted for the majority of private
cars
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 around the world.
However
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, electric
cars
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, which are more environmentally friendly, have been invented and the demand for
this
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 type of
the
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apply
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car
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 has been increasing. In fact, in Norway, the government promoted Tesla
cars
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 by means of free parking lots and no
car
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 tax.
As a result
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, 75% of people in Norway use Tesla
cars
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 now which contributed to reduced
car
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 emissions.
To conclude
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, the increased number of
cars
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 has negative impacts on environments in the Earth,
decreasing
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and decreasing
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car
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 emissions is indispensable.
Consequently
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, I believe that the combination of advanced public
transportation
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systems
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 and alternative
cars
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 would allow for
the
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apply
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better environments rather than focusing on a single measure.

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grammar
There are a few minor grammar errors such as 'in nowdays' which should be 'nowadays' and 'car emissions is indispensable' which should be 'decreasing car emissions is indispensable.' Focus on maintaining grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
The response effectively covers both sides of the argument as well as providing a clear opinion. However, the points could be elaborated further for deeper insight.
coherence cohesion
Try to balance the development of each point equally and avoid repetition. Some areas had less detail than others, which could disrupt the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in navigating through the essay.
task achievement
The essay remains on topic and addresses both views effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • emissions
  • pollutants
  • sustainable
  • efficient
  • affordable
  • overcrowding
  • traffic
  • infrastructure
  • investment
  • alternative
  • renewable
  • fossil fuels
  • technology
  • incentives
  • reducing
  • combating
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gases
  • global warming
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