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Band 6

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their own tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #cost #education #students #tuition #fees
An increasing number of people have started to
discussed
Change the form of the verb
discuss
show examples
 whether
students
 should afford their own
tuition
 themselves. Some people agree with
this
 idea,
however
, others may not be on the same wavelength. From my perspective, it is necessary for
students
 to pay personal
tuition
fees
 by themselves. If
students
 pay
tuition
, they would choose to study hard
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and take the educational opportunities seriously. They understand that the financial cost of completing the degree is high, so they will make an effort to finish all homework and pass all the exams in order to gain the qualifications on time.
By comparison
, if the
government
 pays the
fees
, many
students
 will possibly take it for granted. They may not study hard, so they are likely to fail exams from time to time. Another benefit of charging
tuition
fees
 is that it can lighten the burden on the
government
. The
government
 can spend more money on primary and secondary education, which can encourage more youngsters to attend schools and improve literacy. Subsidies can
also
 be provided for those
students
 who enrol in post-graduate courses to promote the development of technology.
However
, those who hold different opinions might contend that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should bear the cost of
tuition
 from less well-off backgrounds. Free
tuition
 can encourage these young
students
 to attend college to acquire knowledge and skills, which can improve their career prospects.
This
 can help narrow the gap between rich and poor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and build a fair society. In conclusion, I would argue that
students
 should pay
tuition
fees
 themselves because it can not only boost them to study hard but
also
 relieve the
government
’s burden ,
although
 some people might not see eye to eye with me on
this
 matter.
Submitted by chaing12340627 on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention a study or real-life case where students who paid their own tuition performed better or were more motivated.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to maintain a steady flow. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your points more effectively.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, which strengthens your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bear the cost
  • tuition fees
  • financial management
  • taxpayer burden
  • public finances
  • allocate resources
  • social inequality
  • socio-economic disparities
  • access to higher education
  • long-term economic benefits
  • educated workforce
  • earning potentials
  • investment vs expense
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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