IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts illustrate the portion of students at one university in the UK who can speak other languages besides English, in the years 2000 and 2010.

The pie charts illustrate the portion of students at one university in the UK who can speak other languages besides English, in the years 2000 and 2010.
#portion #students #university #uk #languages #english #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart describes the portion of
students
Use synonyms
 at a university in the UK who can communicate in other
languages
Use synonyms
 either than
English
Use synonyms
, in the years 2000 and 2010. In 2000, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 could speak Spanish at 30%;
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 20% of the
students
Use synonyms
 couldn't speak any other
languages
Use synonyms
 other than
English
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who only spoke in French and those who could speak other
languages
Use synonyms
 make up 30% of the
students
Use synonyms
 combined. The remaining 20% consisted of
students
Use synonyms
 who only spoke German and
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke two other
languages
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010. the population of
students
Use synonyms
 who only spoke Spanish had increased to 35%;
furthermore
Linking Words
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who communicate in another language increased to 20%.
Students
Use synonyms
 who converse in two other
languages
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 added to their population by 15%.
However
Linking Words
, the number of French speakers and
English
Use synonyms
 speakers had a decrease to 10%.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the population of
students
Use synonyms
 who spoke in other
languages
Use synonyms
 other than
English
Use synonyms
 changed from 2000 to 2010, with most of the
students
Use synonyms
 able to speak Spanish.
Submitted by kelly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, english with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: